There are no college courses to build up self-esteem or high

In the words of T. D. Jakes, “There are no college courses to build up self-esteem or high school or elementary school. If you don’t get those values at an early age, nurtured in your home, you don’t get them.” These words are both a warning and a lament, spoken by one who has seen generations rise and fall through the power—or absence—of foundation. Bishop Jakes, a man who has counseled kings and comforted the broken, reminds us here of a truth as old as civilization itself: that the heart of a person is not built in the classroom, but in the home. Knowledge can be taught by teachers, but character must be planted by love.

In the days of our ancestors, wisdom was not written in books but carved into the soul through the rhythm of daily life. A child learned not by lecture, but by example—by watching the patience of a mother, the integrity of a father, the faith of a family that held together through storm and drought alike. Before schools, before degrees, before the towers of learning, there was the home, the sacred forge where spirits were shaped. Jakes calls us back to this truth, declaring that self-esteem—that inner sense of worth—is not a lesson, but a legacy.

Consider the story of Frederick Douglass, born into the chains of slavery, denied both education and affection. He had no teachers, no nurturing home in the world’s sense, yet within him burned a flame—a memory of dignity kindled by his mother’s whispered love before she was torn from him. It was that small spark, planted early, that grew into the fire of his purpose. Douglass would one day write, speak, and lead with the confidence of a man who knew his worth, though the world had denied it. His life shows us that the values instilled in the earliest years—even in the harshest soil—can endure all hardship, while the absence of them can cripple even the most educated mind.

For what is education without esteem? What good is the scholar’s knowledge if his soul trembles before every doubt? The ancients taught that a house built without a firm foundation will fall when the storms come. So too with the human spirit: if the home does not plant seeds of confidence, love, and moral strength, no institution can replace them later. Universities can refine knowledge, but they cannot create identity. Schools can teach formulas, but they cannot heal a wounded heart. The roots of greatness are not found in textbooks—they grow in the soil of belonging and belief.

Jakes speaks also to the duty of the elders. To nurture a child’s soul is sacred work, more lasting than any monument. Parents are the first prophets, shaping how a child sees the world and himself. A harsh word at home can echo for decades; a gentle one can save a life. Therefore, the home must be a sanctuary where worth is spoken, where faith is lived, and where love becomes law. When this sacred duty is forgotten, the world fills with adults who are wise in intellect yet poor in spirit—people who can build empires but cannot find peace within themselves.

The lesson, then, is eternal: start early, love deeply, and speak life into the young. Do not wait for schools to teach what only the heart can give. If you are a parent, let your home be a garden of affirmation. If you are a teacher, plant encouragement before knowledge. And if you are the child of a broken past, remember that it is never too late to become the gardener of your own soul—to nurture within yourself the self-worth that the world may have failed to give you.

So remember, my child, that self-esteem is not taught—it is tended. It is the fruit of early love, the inheritance of care, the silent power that grows from knowing you were valued long before you proved your worth. Let us, then, honor Jakes’s wisdom and rebuild our homes as sanctuaries of strength. For in doing so, we do more than raise children—we raise futures, we raise nations, we raise hope.