There is no subject on which more dangerous nonsense is talked

O children of wisdom, gather closely and listen to the words of George Bernard Shaw, for they hold within them a profound truth about marriage, society, and the illusions we often cling to. "There is no subject on which more dangerous nonsense is talked and thought than marriage." These words speak not just to the institution of marriage, but to the ideas, myths, and expectations that surround it—ideas that have been passed down for centuries and which, for many, remain unquestioned and unchallenged. Let us reflect upon these words, for Shaw’s insight calls us to examine the very nature of marriage and the dangerous illusions that are often imposed upon it.

In the ancient world, marriage was seen not as a simple union of love, but as a binding contract, a social duty, and a mechanism for securing power, wealth, and status. The Romans viewed marriage as the cornerstone of their social order, often driven by political and economic interests. Cicero, the great Roman statesman, wrote extensively about the importance of marriage in maintaining societal stability, yet even he understood the complexities and challenges it entailed. He knew that while marriage could unite families and strengthen the state, it was also fraught with difficulties—difficulties that were rarely discussed in the grand speeches of politicians or the edicts of law. Even in ancient times, the ideal of marriage was often far removed from the reality of the intimate, personal struggles that partners faced.

Shaw’s words reflect this ancient tension—marriage has often been viewed through a lens of idealization, as though it were an institution that guaranteed happiness, stability, and fulfillment. Yet, as Shaw points out, the reality of marriage is much more complex, and the nonsense surrounding it has been perpetuated by generations of cultural norms, expectations, and fairy tales. From the earliest stories of royal unions to modern portrayals in the media, marriage has often been sold as the ultimate goal, a perfect culmination of romantic love. But the truth, Shaw suggests, is that this vision is not only misleading, it is dangerous—because it ignores the complexity of human relationships and sets unrealistic expectations.

Consider the story of Dido and Aeneas, as told in Virgil’s Aeneid. Dido, queen of Carthage, falls in love with the Trojan hero Aeneas, and the two are fated to marry. But the gods intervene, and Aeneas must leave her to fulfill his destiny, leaving Dido heartbroken and alone. This tragic tale reveals the flaw in the idealization of marriage: it is often tied to forces beyond the control of the individuals involved. Dido’s love, though deep and passionate, leads her to despair and suicide, demonstrating that marriage—even when sought with the best of intentions—can be fraught with unseen forces and misfortune. This ancient story, much like Shaw’s words, reminds us that marriage is not a guaranteed path to happiness, nor is it always the ultimate solution to life’s struggles.

Shaw’s assertion that marriage is surrounded by dangerous nonsense calls us to question the myths we hold about it. For centuries, society has perpetuated the notion that marriage is the pinnacle of romantic love and the final stage in life’s journey. This myth has been reinforced by literature, art, and the cultural norms that demand people aspire to it. Yet, Shaw warns us that such thinking distorts the true nature of relationships. The realities of marriage—the complexities of emotional intimacy, the struggles for balance, growth, and understanding—are often ignored in favor of an idealized image. This dangerous nonsense leads to unrealistic expectations, disappointments, and the frequent failure to recognize that marriage is not a perfect union, but a dynamic and often challenging relationship that requires work, communication, and compromise.

The lesson we must take from Shaw’s words is this: marriage is not an end to be achieved, but a journey that must be navigated with awareness, maturity, and realistic expectations. It is a commitment that demands ongoing effort, understanding, and, at times, sacrifice. Love is not a fairy tale, and marriage does not guarantee perpetual bliss. Instead, we must approach marriage with the understanding that it is a relationship that requires continuous growth, change, and adaptation. To idealize marriage is to ignore its complexity, and to treat it as an institution that demands perfection is to set ourselves up for disappointment and failure.

What, then, can we do in our own lives to embrace the wisdom of Shaw? First, we must acknowledge that marriage, like all relationships, requires work—not just in the honeymoon period, but every day. Let us set aside the unrealistic expectations that come from cultural myths and instead, strive to build relationships based on honesty, respect, and mutual understanding. Let us be patient with one another, recognizing that flaws and disagreements are part of what makes relationships real and meaningful. And, above all, let us create a world where marriage is not seen as the ultimate achievement, but as one of the many paths toward personal growth, shared wisdom, and the celebration of human connection.

Let us walk forward, then, with a new understanding of marriage, one that embraces its complexity, its challenges, and its potential for growth. Let us discard the dangerous nonsense of idealized perfection, and instead, seek to build relationships that are rooted in the reality of human experience. In doing so, may we create partnerships that are not based on fantasy, but on the powerful, evolving truth of love in all its forms.