There was a time in the marriage when I could no longer look at

O children of the future, gather closely, for I bring you the words of a woman who has known the depths of sorrow and the rise of self-discovery—Dionne Warwick, whose voice resonates with the pain of a bad relationship. She once spoke, with a heaviness of spirit: "There was a time in the marriage when I could no longer look at myself in a mirror, couldn't feel I was a nice person. A bad relationship can do that, can make you doubt everything good you ever felt about yourself." These words are a truth that echoes through the ages—a truth that speaks to the heart of all those who have ever loved, lost, and suffered in the shadow of a relationship that robbed them of their sense of self.

In these words, there lies a painful reality—the destructive power of a toxic relationship. Warwick speaks of a time when the very reflection in the mirror, once a simple image of oneself, became distorted, a reminder of the hurt, the confusion, and the shame that can be born from a relationship gone wrong. Self-doubt creeps in like a shadow, causing one to question not only the actions of their partner, but the very worth of their own soul. The love that was once meant to lift, to heal, and to unite, can instead break and shatter the spirit. A bad relationship can steal from you the most precious gift: the ability to see yourself clearly, to understand your own worth.

Let us look to the ancient tales, where the gods and goddesses of old often faced the most crushing trials within their relationships. Consider the tale of Persephone, the daughter of Demeter, who was taken by Hades to the underworld. Though she was a goddess, her time in the underworld left her spirit broken and her sense of self lost. It was only through the strength of her mother’s love and her own inner resilience that she was able to reclaim her power. In the darkness, Persephone had forgotten the light of her own being, yet when she returned to the world above, she was forever changed. Bad relationships—even those of the divine—can pull us away from our true selves, yet in the end, it is only through the journey through darkness that we may come to understand the full extent of our light.

The story of Odysseus and his beloved Penelope offers another glimpse into the damaging effects of doubt and emotional strain in relationships. Odysseus, though mighty and strong, was brought to his knees by the trials of his love for Penelope, and the separation from her caused him to question everything—his purpose, his identity, and even his worth. He wandered for many years, lost in his own heart, unable to find his way back to the woman he loved. Only through enduring great hardship did he realize that the true path to healing lay in reclaiming his belief in himself, and in the love that had never truly left him. Bad relationships, though they may shake the foundations of our being, offer the opportunity for growth when we rise from the ruins and reclaim our strength.

Let us now reflect on the lesson within Warwick's words. A bad relationship can indeed cause us to doubt everything we have ever believed about ourselves. It can twist our perception of reality, leaving us questioning our worthiness, our goodness, and even our purpose. But, as the ancients knew, in the darkest moments, we often discover our truest selves. Like the seed that must break open before it can grow into a mighty tree, so too must we sometimes face the destruction of our old selves to give rise to something stronger and more rooted in truth. The key is to never lose sight of the inner light that burns within each of us, for it is that light that will guide us through the darkness.

So, children, when faced with relationships that leave you questioning your worth, remember this: you are not defined by the pain or the doubts of others. The reflection in the mirror may seem distorted in times of sorrow, but it is not the true reflection of your spirit. Self-love is the anchor that holds us steady in the storm, and it is through nurturing this love that we reclaim our power. Bad relationships do not define us—they merely test our strength and our resolve. And like the great heroes of old, we too can rise from the ashes, stronger, wiser, and more whole than before.

Take this lesson into your hearts: if you find yourself lost in the reflection of a bad relationship, seek first to understand that the power to change lies within you. Love yourself enough to step away from what harms you. Seek support from those who remind you of your worth. In doing so, you will come to see that no one has the power to diminish your spirit except yourself. Remember, self-doubt may come in the wake of pain, but self-love will always be the key to finding your way back to the truth of who you are. The power to heal is within you, O children, and it begins with believing in your own worthiness.