There's a security, a validity of knowing that it's legal. It's

The words of Matt Bomer, “There's a security, a validity of knowing that it's legal. It's hard to put into words. It's just a feeling, I guess — something about saying vows in front of the people around you who love and support you,” carry the quiet yet profound resonance of love fulfilled through recognition. They speak not only of romance, but of belonging, of the human need for one’s truth to be seen, affirmed, and sanctified by both heart and law. In his reflection, Bomer gives voice to the sacred moment when love ceases to be a private hope and becomes a public covenant, protected not only by affection but by justice. His words breathe with gratitude — for love that has endured trial and for a world finally willing to acknowledge it.

The origin of this quote lies in Bomer’s own journey as a man who lived through the long struggle for marriage equality in America. For decades, couples like him were bound by devotion but unrecognized by the law — their unions invisible in the eyes of the state, their promises unprotected by the rights freely given to others. When the Supreme Court finally declared in 2015 that love is love, and that all couples, regardless of gender, possess the same right to marry, a veil was lifted. What had once been private became legal, and what had once been a whispered commitment could now be spoken aloud before the world. It is this transformation — from secrecy to celebration, from endurance to equality — that Bomer’s words capture. To him, and to countless others, legality was not about bureaucracy; it was about dignity.

When he speaks of the “security” and “validity” of that moment, he is not describing a cold formality, but a spiritual anchoring — the sense that love, once questioned, has now been affirmed by the community. To stand before those who love and support you, and to declare your vows with confidence that the law honors them, is to reclaim something stolen by history: the right to love openly without fear. It is the same longing that has lived in every age, wherever human hearts were divided by custom or decree. The freedom to love — and to have that love recognized — is the oldest struggle of the human spirit, for it is through love that we are made whole, and through recognition that we are made equal.

The ancient poets and prophets knew this truth well. In Antigone, the heroine defied the king’s decree to honor her brother’s death, proclaiming that divine love is higher than human law. Yet in our age, humanity has learned that the highest form of law is one that reflects love itself — that justice, when perfected, is compassion made enduring. So when Bomer speaks of the feeling that words cannot fully capture, he invokes this ancient harmony between law and love, between the written and the eternal. For love that is sanctioned by law becomes not only personal but communal — a celebration shared by family, friends, and nation alike, binding the private promise of two hearts into the living memory of society.

Consider, too, the story of Richard and Mildred Loving, who, in 1967, stood before the Supreme Court to challenge laws that forbade interracial marriage. Their love, like Bomer’s, was genuine, steadfast, and denied by the law of their time. When they won their case, the court declared that “the freedom to marry” is a fundamental right. Their victory paved the way for generations to come — a quiet revolution not of weapons, but of words; not of conquest, but of compassion. In every age, it is the same truth reborn: that love, when met with courage, transforms not only the lives of lovers but the soul of the world itself.

Bomer’s reflection, then, is not only about his own marriage but about the universal need for affirmation. To say vows “in front of people who love and support you” is to root one’s private truth in the soil of community. It is to say: we belong here too; our joy is part of the world’s joy. In that moment, the couple becomes more than two individuals — they become symbols of perseverance, embodiments of a love that has passed through fire and emerged unashamed. The legality of marriage becomes, in this light, an emblem of equality, a promise that no one’s love will again be cast into shadow or silence.

Let this lesson be passed down to future generations: that love seeks truth, and truth seeks recognition. Never take for granted the right to stand before the world and say, this is the one I love. For there are those before us who could not, and there may yet be those who cannot. Cherish the sanctity of your vows, and protect the freedom that allows them to be spoken. As Matt Bomer reminds us, the power of love lies not only in feeling, but in its courage to stand in the light — to be seen, to be honored, and to be known as both sacred and legal, in the eyes of those who matter most.