Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion

Hear now the jesting words of Jay Leno, who declared with biting humor: “Today is Valentine’s Day—or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!” Though born of comedy, these words carry beneath them a current of truth and warning. For often in the affairs of love, what should be pure in spirit becomes entangled with gold, gifts, and outward show. Thus, what was meant as a day of devotion and tenderness may turn into a marketplace of expectation, where affection is measured not by depth of heart but by the price of offering.

The ancients themselves knew this danger. When the Romans celebrated Lupercalia, a festival of fertility and union, it was not meant to be bound by jewels and perfumes, but by ritual and sacred joy. Yet as ages passed, merchants clothed such days with commerce, until hearts were weighed against coins. In this, Leno’s jest finds its root: love, the most noble of bonds, risks being cheapened into transaction, where failure to pay the toll invites scorn.

Consider the tale of King Henry VIII and his many marriages. Though each union was cloaked with gifts, splendor, and vows, love was often bent beneath the weight of politics, power, and expectation. Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, and others were entangled not in romance but in bargains of crown and inheritance. Here we see the shadow of extortion, not by jest but by life itself—where what should have been union became calculation. Such stories remind us that when affection is measured by cost, love itself grows frail.

Yet let us not despise Valentine’s Day entirely, for it still holds power. It reminds men and women alike to pause amid toil and speak words of affection, to remember that hearts require tending as much as fields. The danger lies not in the day, but in the false belief that a single token can substitute for daily devotion. Flowers may wither, jewels may tarnish, but love made steadfast through patience and sacrifice endures beyond all fleeting symbols.

Leno’s humor also calls us to humility. For the man who complains of “Extortion Day” may be confessing not the greed of women, but the laziness of men—those who wait until a holiday forces them to act, instead of nurturing love freely and often. True devotion is not compelled by dates upon a calendar; it flows as naturally as a spring. When love is strong, no extortion is felt, for the giving is joy itself.

The lesson, then, is clear: do not let your love be ruled by transaction. Give, not because the world demands it, but because your heart overflows. Refuse also to make demands that weigh down your beloved with burdens of proof. In both giving and receiving, let gratitude, not price, be the measure. Practical wisdom follows: speak kind words daily, not just once a year; give tokens of affection when least expected; and remember that time, attention, and loyalty are treasures no jewel can equal.

Thus let the jest of Jay Leno be transformed into teaching: Valentine’s Day is not Extortion Day unless you make it so. Let it instead be a reminder to free love from chains of commerce and give it wings of sincerity. In this way, the day becomes not a burden, but a blessing, a call to cherish the bonds that make life full. And may you live each day as if it were Valentine’s—rich not in roses and chocolate, but in the quiet, enduring strength of true affection.