True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and

“True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity, before it is entitled to the appellation.”
Thus wrote George Washington, the steadfast founder of a nation and a man who knew both the glory and the solitude of leadership. In this noble saying, he speaks not only as a statesman but as a sage of the human heart. He reminds us that true friendship, like a living plant, does not spring forth fully grown; it must take root in the soil of time, watered by loyalty, and tested by the storms of life. Only when it has endured the shocks of adversity—when it has been bent but not broken—can it rightfully be called friendship in its purest and most enduring form.

Washington’s words were written in a letter to his young friend Bushrod Washington, his nephew and later a Justice of the Supreme Court. In advising him, the elder Washington sought to impart not only political prudence but also wisdom of the soul. He had seen in his lifetime that men are quick to call many their friends, yet few remain so when fortune turns cold. As a soldier, as a general, as a leader of revolution, he had witnessed how alliances crumble in hardship and how flattery fades in defeat. From this crucible of experience came his counsel: friendship must be proved through trial, not declared through ease.

The metaphor of the plant is one of the oldest and most enduring in human thought. A seed may sprout quickly under the sun, but only the tree that endures both wind and drought becomes mighty and deep-rooted. So too is friendship. The companionships born of convenience, of laughter alone, or of mutual advantage are but flowers that bloom for a season and perish with the frost. But the friendship of the soul, built upon trust, respect, and mutual virtue, grows slowly and unseen, like the roots of an oak beneath the earth. Its strength is revealed not in the calm of spring, but in the storm of winter.

Consider the example of David and Jonathan from the ancient Scriptures—two men bound by loyalty that defied even the will of kings. When David was hunted and cast out, Jonathan risked his own life to warn him. Their bond, tested in danger and sealed by sacrifice, endured until death and beyond. Such is the friendship that Washington describes: one that has stood through the shocks of adversity, and emerged unshaken. It is not affection born of ease, but devotion tempered by hardship.

Washington himself knew such friendships. During the dark days of the Revolutionary War, when his army starved and morale faltered, he found strength in a small circle of trusted companions who never deserted him—men like Alexander Hamilton, Lafayette, and Henry Knox. Together they weathered defeat, hunger, and betrayal. When others questioned the cause, they remained faithful. Through those trials, the roots of their friendship dug deep, nourished by honor and shared purpose. It was in such crucibles that Washington learned his truth: that friendship, to be real, must first be refined by struggle.

The lesson of this wisdom endures for all generations. Do not hastily call every companion a friend, for the title is sacred and must be earned. Let time be your gardener, and adversity your test. Do not despair when friendship is strained by distance, disagreement, or hardship; these are not signs of its death, but opportunities for it to prove its strength. The friendship that survives trial will grow more steadfast, its roots entwined with the virtues of patience, forgiveness, and faith.

And so, young seeker, remember: true friendship is not born of speed, but of endurance. It asks for gentleness in good times and courage in bad. It does not seek its own gain, but gives of itself freely. Plant it carefully, tend it with honesty, and protect it with loyalty. When adversity comes—and it will come—do not flee, but stand firm beside your friend. For it is only then, when the winds howl and the branches tremble, that you will see whether your friendship is a passing flower or an eternal tree.

Thus speaks the spirit of George Washington, whose own friendships were forged in the furnace of revolution and duty. His words call across the ages: be patient, be faithful, and let your friendships grow slowly but surely, for when they have endured the storms, they will shelter you all your life. In such friendship lies the rarest treasure of the human heart—a bond unbroken by time, untarnished by hardship, and rooted forever in the soil of virtue.