True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. It is, on

In the vast and intricate landscape of human emotions, few things are as misunderstood as love. Ellen G. White offers a profound insight into the nature of true love, saying: “True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding.” These words carry a wisdom that transcends the fleeting nature of passion, reminding us that love, in its purest form, is not a force that burns brightly and then fades away, but a steady flame that grows stronger with time, rooted in deeper truths.

The ancients knew well the difference between passion and love. In the myths of old, Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey are filled with the passionate, impetuous loves that lead to war, tragedy, and loss. The love of Paris and Helen, for instance, was a love driven by physical attraction and desire, a spark that ignited a thousand ships but led to destruction. It was quick, fiery, and, ultimately, hollow—based more on the external than the internal, and hence, doomed to failure. In contrast, the love of Penelope for Odysseus, though also tested by time and distance, was rooted in something far deeper—a steady and discriminating devotion that did not waver. Penelope’s love was not a fleeting passion but a love grounded in the wisdom of loyalty, trust, and patience, qualities that endure when external circumstances change.

Consider the wisdom of Socrates, who in his search for truth and virtue, never sought love based on fleeting appearances but rather on the deeper qualities of character. He once said that the greatest love is to love not the beauty of the body, but the virtue of the soul. His love for his fellow philosophers was not born out of emotional passion but from a recognition of their wisdom and their pursuit of truth. Socrates teaches us that true love sees beyond the external and into the very heart of a person—into their character, their virtue, and their values.

The story of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy from Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice provides a beautiful example of true love as described by Ellen G. White. At the beginning of the story, Elizabeth’s initial impression of Darcy is based on his outward mannerisms and arrogance, leading to a quick judgment. Yet, as the story unfolds, Elizabeth’s understanding of Darcy deepens, and she sees the true qualities that lie beneath his exterior: his integrity, his kindness, and his capacity for growth. Their eventual love, though slow to blossom, is rooted in mutual respect and understanding—qualities that go beyond superficial attraction. In this, Austen reveals that true love is not born from impetuous passion but from an enduring commitment to understanding, respect, and wisdom.

True love, as Ellen G. White speaks of it, is a love that is discriminating and wise. It is a love that sees the whole person, not just the parts that shine in the light of day, but also those that are hidden in the shadows. This is the love that sustains families, friendships, and partnerships over time. It is the love that endures in the face of hardship, because it is not based on fleeting moments of attraction but on a deep, abiding connection that transcends the external. Such love is patient, kind, and resilient, a love that grows over time, as it is tested and refined through life’s experiences.

The lesson we learn from White’s words is that true love requires wisdom, discernment, and the ability to look beyond the surface. It is not a love that is easily won or easily lost but a commitment to the deeper, more enduring aspects of a person. In our own lives, we must be wary of the temptation to seek love based only on outward appearances or fleeting passion, for such love is like a flower that blooms quickly but wilts just as fast. Instead, we must seek a love that is rooted in substance, in the qualities that truly define a person’s worth and character. The love that lasts is the love that grows slowly, nurtured by understanding, patience, and a shared commitment to becoming the best versions of ourselves.

Let us take action: In our relationships, let us seek to love with wisdom. Let us go beyond the surface and seek to understand the deeper qualities in others—their hearts, their virtues, and their integrity. Let us cultivate love that is rooted in the depth of character, not the fleeting nature of physical attraction. By doing so, we create relationships that are not only fulfilling but also lasting, relationships that endure through life’s challenges and stand the test of time. In this way, we will experience the beauty of true love, the kind that is not just a passing fancy but a deep, abiding connection that grows stronger with each passing day.