Trump's one liberal policy seems to be his desire to pump more

Trump's one liberal policy seems to be his desire to pump more funding into mental health - which I've taken the liberty of interpreting as a massive cry for help.

- Frankie Boyle -

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Frankie Boyle

Scottish - Comedian Born: August 16, 1972

With the author

In the future we will all be famous for 15 minutes. It will be on a daytime magazine programme and we will each wear a tasteful shirt and slacks combination. We'll be interviewed by a soothing voice under a clock that's permanently set to 4pm. We will talk about the weather. We will record for months to get 15 minutes they can use in the edit.

Frankie Boyle

Remember, taboos are just a map of what a society feels it's acceptable to be neurotic about. Taboos aren't rational.

Frankie Boyle

Only the British could experience great pain at the thought of a traffic jam - a place where you can sit alone with your radio on without being expected to do any work. Aren't traffic jams unbearable? By the time you get home, you need to sit alone in a comfy chair with your favourite music on just to calm down.

Frankie Boyle

Of course, it's hard to get interested in the whole idea of government. Nothing ever changes, especially people saying 'nothing ever changes,' despite the fact their kid now has a free nursery place and their aunt was forced to work despite having dementia.

Frankie Boyle

We fear the arrival of immigrants that we have drawn here with the wealth we stole from them. For much of the rest of the world we must be the focus of bitter amusement, characters in a satire we don't understand. It is British people that don't learn languages, or British history. Britain is the true scrounger, the true criminal.

Frankie Boyle

Isis want to destroy the knowledge that Islam is a beautiful, scientific and intelligent culture, and we are way ahead of them.

Frankie Boyle

Having our privacy exposed is particularly crushing for the British - a nation for whom the phrase: 'How are you?' really means: 'Please say one word, then leave me alone.'

Frankie Boyle

In times of crisis, we are made to feel we should scrutinise our government's actions less closely, when surely that's when we should pay closest attention.

Frankie Boyle

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