Valentine's Day isn't always as much fun as many of us would

Hear the quiet but truthful words of Helen Baxendale, who observed: “Valentine’s Day isn’t always as much fun as many of us would like.” In this gentle confession lies a wisdom that pierces through the glitter of roses and the shine of jewelry. For she reminds us that beneath the ribbons and hearts, many find the day heavy rather than light, lonely rather than joyful. Her words cut through illusion and tell us what the heart already knows: that love is not always celebrated on command, and that a day designed for joy can sometimes bring sorrow.

The origin of this truth lies in the human heart itself. Valentine’s Day, born from ancient traditions and later sanctified by the story of Saint Valentine, has long been meant as a celebration of love and devotion. Yet in the modern world, it has become burdened by expectation, comparison, and longing. Couples may feel pressured to prove their love in grand ways; the solitary may feel left out of the feast altogether. Thus, what was intended to unite hearts often divides them, leaving many to echo Baxendale’s wisdom: the day does not always bring joy.

History shows us that this paradox is not new. In the courts of medieval Europe, where Valentine’s customs first blossomed, love was often bound by ritual and performance. Knights offered tokens to their ladies, poets sang of courtly devotion—but not all hearts rejoiced. Many who could not give or receive such tokens found themselves excluded from the celebration. Even in those days, the joy of Valentine’s was not equally shared; for some it was a crown of delight, but for others, a reminder of absence.

Consider the modern soul who longs for companionship but finds themselves alone when February 14th arrives. For them, the day is not festivity but reminder—reminder of what has not yet come, of love hoped for but not found. Or think of the couple whose relationship is strained, who sit at dinner with forced smiles, feeling the gulf between them more keenly because the day demands romance. In both cases, Baxendale’s words prove true: Valentine’s Day is not always as much fun as we would like it to be.

The ancients knew well that the heart’s seasons cannot be commanded. Did not Solomon himself write in his wisdom, “Do not awaken love before it pleases”? Love cannot be summoned by decree, nor joy forced upon a weary spirit. Baxendale reminds us of this eternal truth—that a festival of love may bring happiness to some, but to others, it may awaken longing, disappointment, or loneliness. Her words call us to compassion, to remember that behind the bright colors of the day, there are hearts in shadow.

Yet there is also hope in this saying. For if Valentine’s Day cannot guarantee joy, it also cannot define love. True love is not confined to a single day, nor does its worth rise and fall with the calendar. Love lives in daily acts of kindness, in patience, in understanding, in friendship, in the bonds of family, and in the quiet strength of compassion shared with strangers. The day may fail us, but love itself does not fail. The lesson is to seek love not only in ritual, but in life.

Practical action begins here: do not measure love by Valentine’s Day alone. Celebrate it throughout the year in small, genuine acts. If you find yourself alone, use the day not as a mirror of absence but as a chance to give love outward—to friends, to family, to those in need. If you are with another, let your affection not be confined to gifts or gestures on one day, but woven into the daily fabric of your life. In this way, the sting of unfulfilled expectation may be transformed into the steady joy of love lived authentically.

So let Baxendale’s words echo as gentle wisdom: “Valentine’s Day isn’t always as much fun as many of us would like.” Let them remind us that no single day can bear the full weight of human longing. And let us, instead of clinging to one fleeting moment, choose to live lives where love is constant, compassion is daily, and joy is not bound by date or custom. For then, whether Valentine’s Day delights us or disappoints us, our hearts will remain steadfast, rich in the deeper treasures of enduring love.