We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds

The words of Joyce Meyer are like a lamp set upon a darkened path: “We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.” In them lies a truth as ancient as the human heart—that the tongue can wound or it can heal, it can tear down or it can build up. Too often we fall into the easy habit of fault-finding, thinking that by pointing out weakness we are helping. Yet Meyer reminds us that the true power of growth is found not in criticism but in encouragement, for it is encouragement that breathes life into weary souls.

The ancients themselves spoke often of this principle. The proverb says: “A gentle word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” The Romans believed that the duty of a leader was not only to command but to inspire his soldiers, lifting them with praise even in hardship. For a man who feels supported will endure storms, but a man beaten down by scorn will lose heart even in calm seas. In this way, encouragement becomes the seed of loyalty, courage, and hope.

History gives us shining examples. Consider Abraham Lincoln during the darkest days of the Civil War. His nation was fractured, his generals often hesitant or failing, and yet Lincoln was known to write letters of encouragement, reminding his commanders of their strengths, urging them forward with hope rather than crushing them with condemnation. It was his steady words, as much as his policies, that gave confidence to weary men. Lincoln proved Meyer’s wisdom: relationships and leadership flourish not through constant criticism, but through words that uplift.

On the other hand, history also warns us of the ruin brought by unchecked criticism. Napoleon, though a brilliant strategist, was infamous for his harshness toward his subordinates. His criticism often broke spirits rather than strengthened them, creating resentment and fear. While his armies marched on the strength of his genius, the bonds of trust between him and his men were often weakened. His story stands as a mirror: greatness without encouragement breeds isolation, while encouragement knits hearts together in lasting unity.

Meyer’s call to be encouragers rather than critics also speaks to the small places of daily life. The parent who constantly criticizes a child may think they are shaping strength, but often they carve wounds instead. The spouse who only points out faults may imagine they are refining love, but in truth they weaken it. Yet the parent who encourages, the friend who uplifts, the partner who affirms—these create spaces where people can grow without fear, and where love becomes stronger with each passing day.

The lesson, O seeker, is clear: if you wish for deep and enduring relationships, wield your words like tools of healing rather than weapons of blame. Criticism may sometimes be necessary, but let it be wrapped in encouragement, so that the other feels not diminished but strengthened. Become one who sees the potential in others and calls it forth, instead of one who only magnifies flaws.

Practical wisdom flows from this: in every encounter, ask yourself—will my words plant seeds of despair, or seeds of hope? Praise the effort, not only the outcome. Offer gratitude, not only correction. When tempted to criticize, balance it with encouragement, so that the other knows you believe in them. By such small shifts, relationships grow by leaps and bounds, becoming bonds of trust and joy.

So let Joyce Meyer’s words echo across the generations: “We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.” For in encouragement lies the power to build nations, to heal families, to strengthen friendships, and to awaken greatness in others. Choose to be an encourager, and your life will be surrounded not by resentment, but by love that endures.