We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being

Hear the gentle yet resolute wisdom of Melody Beattie: “We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being violated.” These words are not shouted in the voice of conquest but spoken like a healing balm, born of experience and of suffering. For she, who has written of recovery, of codependency, and of the long road to healing, knows that the human spirit often doubts its own strength. Yet she calls us to remembrance: within each soul lies the power to discern when harm has crossed the sacred line of self.

The meaning of this saying is both practical and profound. So many of us are trained from childhood to ignore our own discomfort, to bow to others, to silence the voice within that cries out “enough.” Yet Beattie declares that the inner compass is trustworthy. We need not wait for another to tell us that we are being disrespected, diminished, or used. The body trembles, the heart aches, the spirit recoils—these are the sacred signals that our boundaries are being crossed. To listen to them is wisdom; to ignore them is to invite suffering.

The origin of this teaching lies in Beattie’s own work among those who struggled with codependency, people who lost themselves in caring for others while neglecting their own needs. She saw how often they doubted themselves, believing they had no right to say no, or no clarity to recognize when they were being harmed. Thus, her words became a reminder of empowerment: the truth is already within us. We do not need permission to defend our souls, nor do we require another’s judgment to know when a line has been crossed.

History too offers testimony to this truth. Consider the story of Rosa Parks, who one day refused to surrender her seat on a bus in Montgomery, Alabama. No law, no authority, no outside voice told her that her boundary was violated; she knew it in her heart. Her quiet defiance ignited a movement, for she trusted her own spirit’s cry that the line of dignity had been crossed. Thus, one woman’s refusal became the birth of justice for many.

And in another time, think of the Hebrew prophets, who stood before kings and rulers, declaring that the poor were being crushed and the innocent exploited. These men and women were not told by earthly powers that the people’s boundaries were violated; they felt it, they knew it, deep in the marrow of their being. Their trust in their inner compass gave them courage to speak truth to power, though it cost them dearly. In their witness, we see again Beattie’s wisdom: the soul knows when it is wronged, and to trust that knowing is the beginning of freedom.

The lesson for us is vital: do not silence the voice within you. When you feel uneasy, disrespected, or harmed, trust that sense. You may not yet have the words to name it, but your soul has already recognized it. To ignore this inner wisdom is to walk in chains; to trust it is to step into dignity. The world will always have those who try to convince you that your pain is an illusion, that your boundaries are unworthy. But your spirit knows better. Trust it.

Therefore, let us carry this truth into our daily lives: listen to your heart when it says “enough.” Guard your boundaries not with cruelty but with clarity. Speak when your dignity is trampled, withdraw when your peace is endangered, and trust that your inner wisdom is a compass pointing to freedom. For in the end, no one else can define where you begin and where you end. That truth rests within you—and to honor it is to honor life itself.