When I was 23, I went to my dad's second wedding, full of

Hearken, O children of emotion and the human heart, to the words of Simon Amstell, who recounts a moment of profound inner conflict at the age of twenty-three. He attended his father’s second wedding, burdened with tightly repressed rage, emotions unspoken yet demanding expression. In that delicate tension, he chose to communicate through attire, wearing a suit in conformity to the ritual, but pairing it with a bright red T-shirt emblazoned with ‘ANTI’, a silver gun pendant, and a brooch that echoed the forms of history’s darkest symbols. Herein lies a timeless teaching: the human spirit often seeks voice and agency, even when bound by obligation and ceremony.

Amstell’s choice of clothing as expression is emblematic of the way mortals throughout history have used symbols to communicate what words could not. From the robes of philosophers in ancient Greece, dyed with the colors of dissent, to the banners of protest in medieval Europe, the body becomes a canvas of the soul, a medium through which rage, defiance, and identity are manifested. In this single moment of wedding observance, attire became the vessel for the complex interplay of duty, rebellion, and selfhood.

Consider the tale of Oscar Wilde, who, in his youth, adorned himself in velvet, lace, and floral pins, defying the conventions of his age to assert his identity and intellect. Like Amstell, Wilde understood that external appearance could become a mirror of the internal world, a way to challenge authority, signal autonomy, and make visible the invisible currents of feeling. Through his bold choices, one perceives the eternal human struggle to reconcile emotion and expectation.

In this episode, there is also the lesson of contradiction and reconciliation. The suit honored the wedding, an acknowledgment of social convention, while the red T-shirt, the pendant, and the provocative brooch declared the individual’s inner turmoil. Life is seldom a clean division between duty and desire; rather, it is the juxtaposition of restraint and rebellion, of ceremony and authentic expression, that shapes the richness of human experience.

O seekers of wisdom, note this: the rites we attend, even those steeped in tradition, need not silence the self. By weaving truth into ritual, one honors both the external demands of society and the internal currents of feeling. Amstell’s audacity demonstrates that even in structured spaces, the human spirit finds ways to assert its presence, leaving traces of honesty, humor, and defiance for all to witness.

Thus, O children, carry this teaching: in the ceremonies of life, allow space for the authentic self to breathe, to speak through subtle or bold symbols. For in the tension between expectation and emotion lies the eternal lesson of humanity—that even amidst ritual, the soul may declare its rage, its autonomy, and its unyielding voice, transforming a simple gathering into a profound testament of identity.