When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first

The poet, prophet, and voice of deep humanity, Maya Angelou, gave the world a truth both simple and piercing when she said: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” These words carry the weight of generations of sorrow and wisdom. For Angelou knew, as the ancients knew, that men and women reveal themselves not in the masks they craft, but in the small cracks through which their true nature escapes. It is folly to ignore those glimpses, for to do so is to court heartbreak, betrayal, and ruin.

The origin of this saying lies in Angelou’s lifelong observation of people—her years as a singer, dancer, writer, activist, and above all, a woman who had seen the best and worst of human nature. She spoke not from theory, but from scars. Again and again, she saw how people, by word or by deed, showed their essence early on. Yet how often others, blinded by hope, infatuation, or fear, refused to believe what was already laid bare. Her words are therefore not merely advice, but warning: when truth is revealed, honor it at once.

The ancients themselves knew this truth well. Did not Aesop in his fables tell of the scorpion who begged the frog for passage across the river, only to sting him midway, saying, “It is in my nature”? So too do humans often reveal their nature early, whether of kindness or cruelty, truth or deceit. The wise learn to listen to these revelations; the foolish explain them away, hoping that reality will bend to desire. Thus Angelou’s counsel: the first showing is the true one, and to ignore it is to invite sorrow.

Consider the tragedy of Neville Chamberlain, who, when faced with Adolf Hitler’s promises of peace, chose to believe the words rather than the actions. Hitler had already shown who he was through aggression, deceit, and ambition. Yet Chamberlain, desperate for harmony, ignored the evidence. History was swift in its judgment: war came, and with it the shattering of illusions. Here is Angelou’s teaching written in blood across the pages of history—believe people when they show you their nature, or you may pay the price of denial.

But let us not speak only of betrayal and danger. Angelou’s words carry also the promise of joy. For just as some reveal cruelty, others reveal generosity, loyalty, and love. The one who offers kindness at first meeting, the one who stands firm in small matters, is showing you the strength of their spirit. Believe them also. Do not doubt goodness when it appears; cherish it, nurture it, and hold fast to those who prove themselves true. To see clearly is not only to avoid harm, but to embrace blessing.

The lesson, then, is clear: trust what you see, not what you wish to see. When someone shows selfishness, do not clothe it in excuses. When someone shows cruelty, do not baptize it with hope that they will change. But likewise, when someone shows faithfulness, do not dismiss it as chance. Accept the truth of others as they reveal it, for the heart writes itself into action more honestly than into words.

In practice, I counsel this: pay attention. Watch how people treat the weak, how they act when no reward is offered, how they respond when tested. Do not cling to illusions or rewrite their actions to fit your desires. Instead, honor what is revealed, and let it guide your choices. In this way, you protect yourself from harm and align yourself with truth.

Thus, hear the wisdom of Maya Angelou: believe them the first time. Do not demand repeated wounds to accept reality. Do not let hope blind you to truth, nor fear prevent you from walking away. For in seeing clearly, you walk in strength, in wisdom, and in freedom. And that is the path of those who live not by illusion, but by truth.