When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get

When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get

22/09/2025
10/10/2025

When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get this freedom and sense of independence way younger. And obviously I wish my mum had never died but I like the way my life turned out because of who that turned me into.

When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get this freedom and sense of independence way younger. And obviously I wish my mum had never died but I like the way my life turned out because of who that turned me into.
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get this freedom and sense of independence way younger. And obviously I wish my mum had never died but I like the way my life turned out because of who that turned me into.
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get this freedom and sense of independence way younger. And obviously I wish my mum had never died but I like the way my life turned out because of who that turned me into.
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get this freedom and sense of independence way younger. And obviously I wish my mum had never died but I like the way my life turned out because of who that turned me into.
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get this freedom and sense of independence way younger. And obviously I wish my mum had never died but I like the way my life turned out because of who that turned me into.
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get this freedom and sense of independence way younger. And obviously I wish my mum had never died but I like the way my life turned out because of who that turned me into.
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get this freedom and sense of independence way younger. And obviously I wish my mum had never died but I like the way my life turned out because of who that turned me into.
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get this freedom and sense of independence way younger. And obviously I wish my mum had never died but I like the way my life turned out because of who that turned me into.
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get this freedom and sense of independence way younger. And obviously I wish my mum had never died but I like the way my life turned out because of who that turned me into.
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get
When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get

The writer and storyteller Dawn O’Porter once spoke with a rare and piercing honesty about the nature of loss and growth: “When you lose your parents when you're a kid, you kind of get this freedom and sense of independence way younger. And obviously I wish my mum had never died but I like the way my life turned out because of who that turned me into.” These words are tender and powerful — a confession born from sorrow, but shaped by resilience. In them lies one of the oldest and deepest truths of the human experience: that from loss comes strength, and that even the deepest wounds can give birth to wisdom.

At the heart of O’Porter’s reflection lies the paradox of grief — that pain, though unwanted, can become a forge for independence. To lose a parent in youth is to be cast suddenly into the vastness of the world, without the shelter of a guiding hand. The child who endures this is forced to grow sooner than they should, to learn the art of survival before others learn the art of comfort. Yet from this premature struggle emerges something indestructible — a self-reliance born not of choice, but of necessity. O’Porter acknowledges this with both sorrow and acceptance: she does not glorify her mother’s death, but she honors the strength it awakened within her.

This truth echoes through the long corridors of history and myth. The great figures of old were often shaped not by ease, but by hardship. Alexander the Great lost his father while still young, yet he rose to carve his empire across continents. Abraham Lincoln, motherless at nine, grew into the man who would carry the weight of a divided nation upon his shoulders. Even in the world of stories, orphans often emerge as the heroes of destiny — from Moses abandoned upon the river, to Odysseus’ son Telemachus learning to stand in his father’s absence. It is as though life itself entrusts the weight of greatness to those who have learned to walk alone.

But O’Porter’s words are not a song of triumph only — they are also an elegy. She begins with the humble admission: “I wish my mum had never died.” Here is the voice of truth, for even the strongest heart longs for the warmth it has lost. There is no shame in such longing. It is the nature of love to leave behind an echo that time cannot silence. Yet, what makes her reflection profound is her ability to hold both grief and gratitude in the same breath. She honors her mother by acknowledging the gift hidden within the loss — that the absence of one hand taught her to use her own.

Her idea of “freedom” is not the carefree liberty of the unburdened, but the hard-won freedom of the survivor. To live without the safety net of parental love is to face the truth of life early: that no one can save you but yourself. And yet, there is beauty in this realization. The child becomes the architect of their own character; the heart learns to find strength in solitude and meaning in struggle. O’Porter’s independence is not rebellion, but awakening — a recognition that the human spirit, once broken, can rebuild itself stronger than before.

Consider too the wisdom of Helen Keller, who, struck blind and deaf from infancy, faced a world of darkness and silence. Yet through the guidance of her teacher, Anne Sullivan, she learned not only to communicate, but to inspire millions. Keller once said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened.” O’Porter’s reflection carries that same timeless message — that pain, when met with courage, can refine the soul into something radiant.

The lesson, then, is this: though we cannot choose what we lose, we can choose what we become because of it. Grief can destroy, or it can transform. It can close the heart, or it can expand it. Dawn O’Porter’s wisdom invites us to look upon our sorrows not as curses, but as teachers — stern, but divine. She teaches that acceptance is not surrender; it is the recognition that pain, too, is part of our becoming.

So, to all who have lost, let her words be a light. Do not seek to erase the pain, for it is part of your story. Instead, honor it by growing from it. Build your independence not in defiance of love, but in remembrance of it. For as O’Porter reminds us, it is not the loss that defines us, but the strength we find because of it. And when the day comes that we can look back upon our suffering and say, “I like the way my life turned out because of who that turned me into,” then we, too, shall have transformed our grief into grace — and our pain into power.

Dawn O'Porter
Dawn O'Porter

British - Writer Born: January 23, 1979

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