When you start suppressing feelings at an early age, it hurts you

Host: The room was calm, the light from the window casting a soft glow across the space as the evening began to settle in. Outside, the world continued on, but inside, there was a quiet stillness. Jack sat at the table, his hands folded in front of him, his thoughts distant. Jeeny was nearby, a book resting in her lap, but her attention was on him, sensing the quiet reflection in the air.

Jeeny: (breaking the silence, her voice gentle but full of curiosity) “You know, Andrew Shue once said, ‘When you start suppressing feelings at an early age, it hurts you down the road. Full expression of anger and pain is very important.’”

(She looked at Jack, her expression thoughtful.) “What do you think he meant by that? About the importance of expressing anger and pain?”

Jack: (pausing, his voice soft as he considered the words) “I think he’s saying that emotions, especially intense ones like anger and pain, can’t be ignored or buried. When you suppress them, you’re not dealing with them. And over time, that builds up. It affects you in ways you might not even realize. It's like you're carrying this hidden weight, and eventually, it starts to affect your health, your relationships, and your ability to move forward.”

Jeeny: (nodding slowly, her voice calm and understanding) “Exactly. When we’re young, we might not know how to express ourselves fully, or we might be taught to bottle up our emotions. But as we get older, those suppressed feelings don’t just disappear. They have a way of catching up with us, sometimes in ways that are harmful. Anger and pain need to be released in healthy ways, or they’ll build up, affecting how we live our lives.”

Jack: (sighing softly, his voice a little more reflective) “It’s hard, though. Expressing anger, especially, feels dangerous sometimes. We’re often told to keep it in check, not to show it. But not expressing it doesn’t mean it goes away. It just festers. It’s like when something’s wrong with your body, and you keep ignoring it until it becomes a bigger problem.”

Jeeny: (gently, her voice full of empathy) “Exactly. When you suppress those feelings, you’re denying yourself the space to heal. Anger and pain are natural reactions to things that hurt us, and expressing them in a healthy way is part of moving past them, part of releasing what no longer serves us. It’s not about being explosive or destructive. It’s about acknowledging the feelings and letting them go.”

Jack: (smiling faintly, a sense of understanding settling in) “It’s freeing, really, when you think about it. If you can express your anger and pain in a way that’s honest and safe, it allows you to be more open, more authentic. You’re not holding onto things that weigh you down. You’re not carrying unnecessary burdens.”

Jeeny: (smiling softly) “Exactly. And it makes you stronger. Not weaker. When you allow yourself to feel and express those emotions, you gain the ability to move through them, to process them. You give yourself the chance to heal.”

Jack: (nodding, a sense of calm settling over him) “I think that’s what’s so important — the release. It’s not just about feeling angry or sad. It’s about how we deal with those emotions, how we express them, so they don’t control us.”

Host: The room seemed to fill with a quiet understanding, the weight of Shue’s words settling in between them like a soft, gentle truth. Emotions, especially anger and pain, were not things to be feared or hidden. They were a part of being human, a part of the process of healing, and ultimately, a part of being whole.

Jeeny: (her voice soft but full of conviction) “And that’s the power of expression. When we allow ourselves to truly feel, when we express ourselves without fear or shame, we are able to be more whole and free.”

Jack: (smiling gently, his voice more content now) “It’s a freeing thought. That by expressing our pain and anger, we’re not just letting go of negative emotions. We’re creating space for something better, for growth and healing.”

Host: The air in the room felt lighter now, as if a small burden had been lifted. The realization that emotions, especially those we often hide or suppress, were a natural part of the human experience, and that expressing them was key to living freely and fully, settled between them.

Jack and Jeeny shared a quiet moment of understanding, knowing that the true path to peace didn’t lie in hiding our feelings, but in acknowledging and expressing them. And in that, there was both freedom and growth.