Women desire six things: They want their husbands to be brave

The words of Geoffrey Chaucer, father of English poetry and teller of timeless tales, gleam with both wit and wisdom: “Women desire six things: They want their husbands to be brave, wise, rich, generous, obedient to wife, and lively in bed.” Though spoken with humor, the saying reflects deep truths about the longings of the human heart, and the balance of qualities that make a union flourish. For Chaucer, master of irony, casts light on what women sought not only in his age but across all ages: courage, wisdom, provision, kindness, companionship, and passion.

The ancients also knew these desires. In the myths of Homer, women like Penelope yearned for husbands who were brave in danger and wise in counsel. Queens and consorts demanded wealth not for greed alone, but as a shield of security, and generosity as a mark of noble character. Even the demand that men be obedient to their wives, often told with laughter, hides a deeper truth: that harmony in marriage requires mutual submission, not tyranny of one over the other.

Consider Chaucer’s own Wife of Bath, that bold pilgrim whose tale scandalized and delighted. She declared openly that she sought mastery over her husbands, for in her time women were too often silenced. Her laughter concealed her rebellion: she demanded not fragility but strength, not passivity but liveliness. Through her, Chaucer gave voice to the eternal desire of women not to be chained, but to share in life’s fullness—whether in counsel, in wealth, in courage, or in love’s private chamber.

The meaning of this quote is also a mirror of men’s own expectations. For just as women seek these six qualities, men throughout history have desired partners who embody loyalty, beauty, wisdom, and strength. Chaucer’s jest reveals that the needs of marriage are many, not simple; that to love well is to be more than one thing, to rise in courage, to act in wisdom, to give in generosity, to submit in humility, and to live passionately.

Let the generations remember: marriage is not built on one virtue but on many, and to neglect even one may be to imperil the bond. Chaucer’s words, though woven in jest, contain the wisdom of centuries: that women, like men, seek not perfection but wholeness—a partner strong in the world, gentle in the home, and faithful in the union of bodies and souls. In this sixfold desire lies not mockery, but truth dressed in laughter, a lesson for all who would love deeply and well.