Women do come up to me, and they tell me what they think! I've

The words of Jesse L. Martin, “Women do come up to me, and they tell me what they think! I’ve gotten great compliments on my eyes and my smile. But I don’t see myself as sexy,” reveal a truth that echoes through time: the difference between how the world perceives us and how we perceive ourselves. For in these words, we see the paradox of human existence—that others may praise our beauty, our gifts, and our charms, yet within we may feel unworthy of such titles. His confession is not false humility, but the mark of a soul that values sincerity over illusion, substance over surface.

The eyes and the smile—these are the windows to the heart. When others praise these features, they are not simply admiring physical form, but the light that shines through them: kindness, warmth, and authenticity. For the eyes speak what words cannot, and the smile carries the power to disarm sorrow and awaken joy. Yet Martin’s refusal to claim the word sexy reminds us that outward allure, however praised, cannot define a person’s essence. To him, worth lies not in desirability, but in character.

The ancients spoke of this very truth. The philosophers of Greece distinguished between the beauty of the body and the beauty of the soul. Socrates, though said to be plain of face, was described as deeply attractive because of the light of wisdom and virtue that burned within him. The Spartans, too, valued strength of spirit above outward charm, teaching their youth that a shining countenance meant little if the heart was weak. In Martin’s words we hear this same echo: the compliments may fall upon his features, but the man himself seeks meaning far beyond appearances.

History gives us the story of Abraham Lincoln, often mocked for his ungainly looks. Yet those who met him came to admire his piercing eyes, his compassionate smile, and the deep humanity that radiated from him. Women and men alike spoke of his presence as magnetic—not because of physical perfection, but because he carried dignity, empathy, and strength. Lincoln, like Martin, reminds us that what makes a soul luminous cannot be measured in surface charm, nor diminished by personal humility.

There is also in Martin’s words the lesson of self-perception. Too often, we are blind to the qualities others cherish in us. Where others see beauty, we see only flaws. Where others see charisma, we see ordinariness. This blindness can protect us from arrogance, but it can also hinder us from embracing the truth that we are, in fact, bearers of light. The smile we dismiss as ordinary may be the very thing that lifts another from despair. The eyes we overlook may be the mirrors in which another sees kindness.

The teaching here is profound: do not measure yourself solely by your own judgment, nor by the praise of others. Instead, seek balance. Receive compliments with gratitude, for they may reveal truths about you that you do not yet see. Yet do not become enslaved to them, for appearances fade, and the essence of a soul is eternal. Like Martin, you may not see yourself as others do—but your worth lies not in labels, but in the authenticity with which you live.

To practice this wisdom, learn to honor both perspectives: acknowledge the qualities others admire, while striving always for the inner virtues of kindness, humility, and strength. Let your eyes reflect compassion. Let your smile shine with sincerity. If others find beauty in you, let it be not only for what is seen, but for what is felt when they stand in your presence. And if you cannot see it yourself, trust that others sometimes glimpse the light within you more clearly than you do.

So remember, O seekers of tomorrow: the world may praise your eyes and your smile, but the truest beauty is the spirit behind them. Do not be anxious if you cannot see yourself as others do. For in humility there is strength, and in authenticity there is lasting charm. And though you may not claim the word sexy, know that to live with warmth, dignity, and sincerity is to embody a beauty far deeper and more enduring than any fleeting label.