You have to put your partner and family at the top of the list

Hear now, O children of wisdom, the words of Shirley Ballas, whose counsel reflects a timeless truth about balance and priorities: "You have to put your partner and family at the top of the list and there must be downtime - time for gardening, cooking time, book reading time." In these words, Ballas speaks to the delicate balance between work, relationships, and the need for personal restoration. Family and partnership—the bonds that anchor us to our shared humanity—must be prioritized, for without them, the soul grows weary. Yet, just as vital is the need for downtime, for rest, for the quiet moments of reflection and creativity that allow us to reconnect with ourselves and the world.

In the ancient wisdom of the Greeks, the concept of balance was central to living a life of virtue. Aristotle, in his exploration of the good life, spoke of the need to balance pleasure with purpose, work with rest. He taught that to live a life of fulfillment, one must cultivate relationships with others, but also take time to nourish the soul. Ballas’ words mirror this ancient ideal, where downtime—be it in the form of gardening, cooking, or reading—is not a luxury, but a necessity for the health of the spirit. Through such activities, we find not only peace but a return to simplicity, where the soul can rest and restore before it returns to the tasks of the day.

The ancient Romans, too, understood the importance of time spent away from the demands of public life. Cicero, the great orator and philosopher, often wrote of the need for leisure—a time to reflect, to enjoy the company of loved ones, and to recharge the mind and body. In his letters, he spoke of the importance of having a home life, where family could gather around the hearth, share meals, and nurture bonds. This, he believed, was not just pleasant but essential for the flourishing of the individual. When Cicero spoke of the "contemplative life", he was not merely referring to solitude for solitude’s sake, but to the need for rest in the company of those we love, where the soul could breathe.

Consider, O children, the example of a great king, King Solomon. Despite his wealth and vast responsibilities, Solomon knew that true wisdom came not from labor alone, but from taking moments to reflect, to seek rest in nature and the company of loved ones. In the book of Ecclesiastes, he speaks of the futility of toil when it is not balanced with the joy of family and spiritual fulfillment. Solomon understood that life’s purpose is not solely found in achievement or accumulation but in the relationships that nourish the spirit, the moments of peace that allow us to reconnect with what truly matters.

In modern times, we can see the wisdom of Ballas’ words in the life of Marie Curie, who, despite being one of the most groundbreaking scientists in history, found solace in the quiet moments with her family. Curie’s work, while extraordinary, was often grueling and demanding, yet she knew the importance of family life and the balance that comes from personal time. Curie’s life reminds us that even the most brilliant minds need time for simple joys—gardening, reading, or just spending time with those they love. Ballas’ insight on balance reflects a universal truth—that we are all human beings first, and that relationships and rest are the foundation of true success, both in work and in spirit.

The lesson here, O children of wisdom, is one of balance and prioritization. We must place our families and relationships at the top of our list, for they are the anchors that hold us steady in the storm. But we must also recognize the importance of downtime, that time to rest, reflect, and recharge. Whether it is gardening, cooking, or reading, these activities allow us to reconnect with ourselves, to nurture our inner world so that we can give our best to others. Work, family, and rest must flow together, not as opposing forces but as complementary parts of the whole. In this balance, we find peace, fulfillment, and purpose.

What then should we do with this wisdom? We must actively create space for rest in our lives. Make time for your family, and cherish the moments spent together, for these are the foundations of lasting joy. Also make time for yourself, for the activities that bring you peace—be it in the quiet of a book, the act of creating through gardening, or the joy of cooking. These moments are not indulgent but necessary for your well-being. Nurture both your relationships and your spirit, and in doing so, you will walk a path of harmony and fulfillment, where your life is guided by love, peace, and purpose.

So, O children of wisdom, remember that true success comes not from toil alone, but from the balance of work, family, and rest. Place your loved ones at the top of your list, and honor them with your time and attention. Make time for yourself, for in the quiet moments of rest and reflection, you will find the strength to live fully and authentically. Let these practices guide you to a life of true joy and fulfillment, where relationships and self-care are not separate but intertwined, creating a life that is rich in meaning and peace.