You should treat your marriage like a business that you wouldn't

The words of Lisa Ling — “You should treat your marriage like a business that you wouldn’t want to let fail. I’m a big advocate of therapy and third-party intervention.” — speak not from cynicism, but from wisdom. They remind us that love, though born from passion, must be sustained by discipline, and that devotion, though radiant, must be maintained through effort and understanding. In her voice is the truth that marriage, like any great enterprise of the human spirit, requires intention, humility, and the courage to seek help when storms arise. For love, once pledged, is not a fire that burns on its own — it is a hearth that must be tended, day after day, through both sunlight and shadow.

Lisa Ling, a journalist and storyteller who has seen the triumphs and tragedies of countless lives, speaks as one who has looked deeply into the human condition. Her analogy of marriage as a business does not strip love of its tenderness; rather, it honors its seriousness. A business thrives when partners communicate, when they plan for the future, when they adapt to change, and when they protect their venture from neglect. So too must a marriage be treated — not as a fragile ornament, but as a living institution, built on trust, responsibility, and the shared labor of two souls striving toward unity.

The ancients, too, understood this truth. In the days of old, marriage was not merely a contract of hearts but a covenant of purpose, a joining of destinies for the good of the family, the community, and the spirit. In the East, the poets wrote that marriage is like a garden: beautiful to behold, but demanding constant cultivation. In the West, the philosophers likened it to the building of a temple — each stone laid with patience and reverence. And so Lisa Ling’s words echo this eternal wisdom in modern form: that love must be worked upon, managed with care, and protected from the entropy that time and complacency bring.

Consider the story of Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt, two towering figures of history whose marriage endured storms that would have shattered most unions. They faced betrayal, illness, and political turmoil. Yet through all, they redefined what partnership meant — transforming their marriage from a union of romance into a partnership of purpose. They sought counsel, leaned on allies, and found renewed meaning in shared mission rather than mere emotion. Theirs was not a perfect marriage, but a resilient one. Like Ling’s counsel, it teaches that when two people face hardship, the wise do not flee — they seek intervention, understanding, and the strength of renewal.

When Lisa Ling speaks of therapy and third-party intervention, she breaks the ancient taboo of silence that too often surrounds struggle. For too long, people have believed that seeking help is weakness, when in truth it is wisdom — the recognition that the heart, like the body, sometimes needs healing beyond itself. In her view, a marriage that invites guidance is not a failing one, but a courageous one. Just as a business consults experts to survive the market’s storms, so must couples turn to counselors, elders, or spiritual guides to survive the trials of emotion and time. This is not surrender; it is strategy in service of love.

Her words remind us, too, that a successful marriage does not thrive on love alone. It thrives on communication, compromise, and the daily decision to invest in the bond as though it were life’s most sacred venture. Many enter marriage believing that love will sustain itself; yet, as the wise know, even rivers must be replenished. A union left unattended will wither, but one maintained with the diligence of gardeners — through pruning, patience, and care — will flourish in every season. Love is not diminished by effort; it is deepened by it.

So let this be the teaching carried forward: treat your marriage not as an ornament to display, but as a temple to maintain, a partnership worthy of your labor and humility. When discord arises, do not hide from it — face it together, as stewards of something precious. Seek counsel without shame, speak truth without pride, and forgive without measure. For love is not the absence of struggle, but the art of returning to peace after every storm.

And so, my children, heed Lisa Ling’s wisdom: if you would preserve your love, tend to it as you would your life’s greatest work. Be honest, be vigilant, and never let the weeds of neglect take root. Remember that even the strongest bond can falter without care, but with understanding, humility, and the courage to ask for help, even the frailest love may grow mighty again. For the truest marriages, like enduring legacies, are not built in haste — they are crafted daily, with hands that repair, hearts that listen, and souls that refuse to let the union fail.