Barbara Sher

Barbara Sher – Life, Work, and Guiding Wisdom

Explore the life and legacy of Barbara Sher (1935–2020), American writer, career/lifestyle coach, and pioneer of life-coaching. Learn about her “Success Teams,” her books (including Wishcraft and Refuse to Choose!), her voice for “Scanners,” and her timeless insights on purpose and inner resistance.

Introduction

Barbara Sher was not a novelist or poet, but she became one of the most beloved voices in practical self-help, coaching, and personal development. Her hallmark was blending humor, compassion, and grounded methods to help people pursue what they truly want—even when they felt stuck, overwhelmed, or conflicted. Over her lifetime, she appeared on major media, created innovative programs, and inspired countless individuals to reclaim their ambitions.

Unlike many self-help authors who promise external success, Sher’s orientation was inward: to understand inner resistance, loneliness, and confusion as obstacles as real as external ones—and then to provide tools to work through them.

Early Life and Background

Barbara Sher was born August 14, 1935, in Detroit, Michigan. Los Angeles, where her parents ran a bar.

Sher studied Anthropology (or a related field) at the University of California, Berkeley.

Her early years were shaped by exposure to groups, ideas of self-exploration, and the notion that many people feel lost or disoriented about what to do with their lives.

Career, Innovation & Major Works

Founding Success Teams

One of Sher’s most enduring contributions was the creation of Success Teams (in ~1972).

The idea was that many people have ideas and desires but feel isolated or paralyzed. A peer support group helps break that isolation and transform vague dreams into concrete action. Sher called isolation the “dream-killer.”

Her experience in these groups helped her refine techniques to help people unblock resistance, clarify what they want, and take small steps forward.

Key Books & Themes

Sher authored several influential books. Some of her most recognized works include:

• Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want (1978) — widely considered her foundational book.

• Teamworks: Building Support Groups That Guarantee Success! (1989) — a manual for forming and running support/goal groups.

• I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was (1994) — addresses people stuck by uncertainty or too many possibilities.

• Live the Life You Love: In 10 Easy Step-by-Step Lessons (1996) — practical guidance to find one’s motivational style and follow dreams.

• It’s Only Too Late If You Don’t Start Now: How to Create Your Second Life at Any Age (1999) — focused on midlife reinvention.

• Barbara Sher’s Idea Book: How to Do What You Love Without Starving to Death (2004) — combining practicality with creativity in pursuing passion.

• Refuse to Choose!: A Revolutionary Program for Doing Everything That You Love (2006) — introduces the concept of the “Scanner,” someone with many interests, and proposes a framework for them.

Across her books, recurrent themes include:

• Overcoming inner resistance (fear, confusion, inertia)

• The importance of community and support in pursuing goals

• Recognizing that there is no one “right” path for many people

• Embracing multipotentiality (the idea that one can love many things)

• Taking small, practical actions rather than waiting for perfect clarity

She also coined the term Scanner to describe people who have many interests and talents and struggle to pick just one path. In Refuse to Choose! she reframes this as a strength rather than a flaw.

Media Presence & Teaching

Sher was a frequent guest on major television shows (Oprah, 60 Minutes, Today) and produced public TV specials in the United States.

In later years, she divided time between the U.S. and a second residence in rural Turkey, teaching e-commerce to village weavers, reflecting her belief that even in remote settings people deserve access to tools to fulfill their dreams. TEDx Prague talk in 2015, titled “Isolation is the dream-killer, not your attitude.”

Legacy and Influence

• Sher is often called the “godmother of life coaching” due to her early and influential role in popularizing coaching, goal-planning, and self-help with empathy and practicality.

• The Success Teams model continues to be used around the world, translated into multiple languages, and applied in career centers, entrepreneur groups, and personal development networks.

• Her concept of the Scanner has become influential among those (especially creative people) who feel torn between many interests and ideas. Her reframing helps many accept a non-linear life path.

• Her books continue to be read, cited, and recommended in coaching, counseling, and personal growth spaces.

• Her blending of humor, humility, and method makes her work accessible and enduring: she didn’t promise mystical transformations, but change born of reflection, small steps, connection, and clarity.

Barbara Sher passed away on May 10, 2020 at age 84.

Personality, Approach & Strengths

From her writings and public persona, one discerns:

• Empathetic, down-to-earth voice: Sher spoke not from distant authority but as a companion who had confronted confusion, fear, and doubt herself.

• Playfulness and humor: She often used wit to disarm cynicism or resistance, making her teachings more approachable.

• Respect for diversity of paths: Instead of prescribing a single “right way,” she honored different styles, rhythms, and combinations of interests.

• Systematic yet flexible: Her work offers structured tools (exercises, questions, frameworks) but remains adaptable to individual contexts.

• Focus on resistance: She understood that internal blocks often thwart external efforts, and so she gave space to psychological work, not just goal-setting.

• Advocacy for community: Her emphasis on support groups, sharing ideas, and mutual accountability speaks to her belief we don’t do life’s big work in isolation.

Selected Quotes

Here are a few of Barbara Sher’s memorable lines (often cited in coaching and personal growth circles):

• “You must go after your wish. As soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning.”

• “Imaginary obstacles are insurmountable. Real ones aren’t.”

• “The amount of good luck coming your way depends on your willingness to act.”

• “When you play it too safe, you’re taking the biggest risk of your life. Time is the only wealth we’re given.”

• “You can learn new things at any time in your life if you're willing to be a beginner.”

These give a small flavor of her voice: encouraging, grounded, and attuned to human paradox.

Lessons from Barbara Sher

1. Isolation kills dreams
   One of Sher’s central insights is that many dreams die, not because they are impossible, but because people feel alone, unsupported, and unsure. Building a supportive circle (Success Team) can make all the difference.

2. Resistance is natural and addressable
   Fear, confusion, hesitation, “not knowing”—these are not signs you should stop; they are signals to slow down, surface underlying issues, and proceed with care.

3. Multiplicity is a gift
   Many people have multiple passions. Sher’s work affirms that you don’t need to choose only one. You can design a life that accommodates several threads.

4. Small steps build momentum
   Waiting for perfect clarity or a big leap is a trap. Sher emphasizes actionable, incremental progress.

5. Your path will evolve
   Don’t expect a straight roadmap from early life; people change, interests shift, and reinvention is possible at any age.

6. Support and accountability are catalysts
   Having peers who encourage, reflect, challenge, and remind you helps sustain momentum and prevent discouragement.

Conclusion

Barbara Sher’s impact lies not just in what she taught, but how she taught it: with kindness, wit, humility, and respect for each person’s complexity. She gave people not one rigid formula, but flexible tools, companionship, and permission to pursue a life they really want.

If you’d like, I can prepare a full annotated list of her books (with summaries and recommended ones) or translate some of her ideas into Vietnamese and apply them to your situation. Do you want me to do that?