Daniel Mallory Ortberg

Daniel Mallory Ortberg – Life, Writing, and Impact

Discover the story of Daniel Mallory Ortberg — formerly known as Mallory Ortberg — American writer, humorist, and cultural commentator. Learn about their work, life journey, transition, and memorable quotes.

Introduction

Daniel Mallory Ortberg (born November 28, 1986) is an American author, editor, and essayist, known for witty, sharp, and formally playful writing that often blends humor, gender, fairy tales, and cultural critique.

They first became well-known under the name Mallory Ortberg, especially through cofounding The Toast — a feminist-leaning humor site — and later serving as the advice columnist Dear Prudence at Slate.

In recent years, Ortberg has publicly transitioned to the name Daniel Mallory Ortberg (often published under the pen name Daniel M. Lavery).

Their writing — in books, essays, and fiction — is marked by a blend of sincerity, wit, mythic reimagining, and personal reflection.

Early Life and Family

Daniel Mallory Ortberg was born on November 28, 1986, as Mallory Ortberg.

They grew up partly in Northern Illinois and later in San Francisco, California.

They are one of three children of John Ortberg — an evangelical Christian author and pastor — and Nancy Ortberg, who has also served in pastoral and nonprofit roles.

Their upbringing in a religious milieu, with exposure to Christian thought and textual traditions, would later become a thread in their work — both as influence and as material to interrogate.

Education and Early Career

Ortberg attended Azusa Pacific University, a private evangelical Christian university in California.

During or after their early writing days, Ortberg published essays, humor pieces, and satire in outlets such as Gawker and The Hairpin, gaining attention for a witty, ironic voice that combined literary references with pop culture commentary.

It was through this writing that they met Nicole Cliffe, with whom they co-founded The Toast in July 2013 — a site blending humorous essays, feminist commentary, listicles, literary reworkings, and cultural criticism.

The Toast became a beloved space, especially among readers seeking writing that was intelligent, self-aware, ironic, feminist, and emotionally genuine.

Major Works & Achievements

Ortberg / Lavery’s body of work spans humor, essays, fiction, and advice.

Texts from Jane Eyre (2014)

This collection imagines famous literary characters texting each other in modern settings. The concept began as a column in The Hairpin and The Toast, and the book became a New York Times bestseller.

The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror (2018)

A daring collection of short stories that reimagine fairy tales and folktales with psychological, dark, and queer dimensions. Many stories explore gender, identity, and transformation in unsettling, beautiful ways.

When releasing The Merry Spinster, Ortberg publicly announced their gender transition (from Mallory to Daniel), making the book launch a deeply personal moment.

Something That May Shock and Discredit You (2020)

This is a memoir-in-essays that weaves personal narrative, theology, culture, and identity. It delves into the challenges and revelations of life, gender, relationships, and the interplay between public and private selves.

Women's Hotel (2024)

Ortberg / Lavery’s novel exploring a women’s residential hotel in the mid-20th century, offering multiple voices and timelines about isolation, community, and change.

Advice & orial Roles

• From 2015 (or 2016) to 2021, Ortberg wrote Slate’s “Dear Prudence” advice column.

• In 2017, they launched a paid newsletter originally called Shatner Chatner, later renamed The Chatner.

• They have also hosted podcasts (e.g. Big Mood, Little Mood on Slate) and engaged in public conversations about identity, writing, and culture.

Identity, Transition, and Public Voice

Daniel Mallory Ortberg’s personal journey has been closely intertwined with their writing.

• Around the release of The Merry Spinster, Ortberg publicly came out as transgender, shifting from using the name Mallory to Daniel, and sharing reflections on gender, visibility, and creative life.

• Ortberg identifies as queer.

• In interviews, they have spoken about the challenges of managing public identity, navigating expectations, and reconciling self-understanding with external perception.

Ortberg’s transition is not just a personal matter but part of their ongoing engagement with themes of identity, narrative control, vulnerability, and transformation — all of which feature in their essays and fiction.

Themes, Style & Influence

Themes

• Identity and transformation: Many works examine how identity is shaped, changed, perceived, and narrated.

• Myth, fairy tale, and folklore revisited: Ortberg’s fiction often reinterprets traditional stories to reveal hidden tensions or contemporary relevance.

• Humor & irony with sincerity: Their voice frequently juxtaposes wit and self-awareness with earnest emotional insight.

• Faith, doubt, and theology: Given their background, religious themes sometimes surface — either as influence, critique, or lens for reflection.

• Public vs. private selves: They often explore how public reputation, writing persona, and internal life interact.

Style

• Playful, lexically rich, intertextual, often mixing high and low registers

• Blends literary allusion, pop culture, and ironic commentary

• Willingness to traverse genres — from essay and criticism to fiction and advice

• Emotional candor combined with structural craft

Influence & Legacy

Ortberg / Lavery has influenced a generation of writers who seek to combine personal voice with intellectual play, especially among queer, feminist, and literary communities. The Toast models a kind of online writing that is literate, humorous, feminist, and emotionally truthful.

Their willingness to foreground their gender transition openly in creative work also sets an example of vulnerability and integration of life and craft.

Notable Quotes

Here are a few lines that capture Ortberg / Lavery’s style and worldview:

• On identity and transition:

  “I am now a whole new universe of possibilities … I can want things.”

• On public vs. domestic self:

  “I was anxious at the thought of going on a book tour and sidestepping something.”

• On genre & expectation:
  (Implicit in their work) the idea that fairy tales, advice, and personal writing are not distant genres but tools to explore life’s strangeness and humanity.

• (From various essays) reflections on writing, language, and vulnerability — though no short aphorisms have circulated as widely as with some authors.

Lessons from Daniel Mallory Ortberg

1. Let your life and art intersect
   Ortberg’s transition, identity work, and public voice are not separate from their writing; they feed into one another.

2. Blend play and depth
   Humor, irony, and creative games can coexist with serious inquiry and emotional truth.

3. Reinterpret tradition
   Revisiting myths or fairy tales with new eyes can expose hidden assumptions and open new perspectives.

4. Courage in visibility
   Taking shape publicly (especially in matters of identity) can be difficult, but it can also be powerful and transformative.

5. Write across boundaries
   Don’t feel limited by genre: essays, fiction, advice, newsletters — each form offers a different way to explore voice and meaning.

Conclusion

Daniel Mallory Ortberg is a literary voice of our moment — unafraid to merge humor and vulnerability, myth and self, critique and play. Their work challenges readers to reconsider identity, narrative, and how we tell stories to ourselves and others.