Emily Post

Emily Post – Life, Work & Memorable Quotations

Learn about Emily Post (1872–1960), the American author and etiquette authority behind Etiquette. Discover her life, her influence on social manners, and her most famous quotes on decorum, courtesy, and human interaction.

Introduction

Emily Post is a name virtually synonymous with manners, propriety, and social grace in American life. Born Emily Price on October 27, 1872, she became one of the most influential authors on etiquette in the 20th century. Her definitive work, Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home (1922), set a standard in how people navigate social interactions with respect, consideration, and honesty. Even decades after her passing in 1960, her legacy—through her writings and the Emily Post Institute—continues to shape how we think about manners in changing times.

Early Life and Family

Emily Price was born in Baltimore, Maryland, though some sources note the possibility of a variant birth date (October 3, 1873) due to conflicting records. She was the daughter of Bruce Price, a prominent architect, and Josephine Lee Price, whose family had ties to a Pennsylvania coal inheritance.

When Emily was young, the family moved to New York. She received much of her early education at home and later attended a finishing school in New York. Her upbringing placed her in a milieu of social expectations, cultured surroundings, and an awareness of the rituals of polite society.

Youth, Education & Marriage

Though Emily did not follow a typical collegiate path, she was raised in an environment of privilege and social exposure. The finishing school she attended helped refine her sense of refinement, manners, and social awareness.

In 1892, she married Edwin Main Post, a banker, and the two lived in New York, also maintaining a country cottage in Tuxedo Park (inherited from her family). Over their marriage they had two sons: Edwin Main Post Jr. (b. 1893) and Bruce Price Post (b. 1895).

The marriage did not last; they divorced in 1905, following revelations of Edwin Post’s infidelities. After divorce, Emily took on the responsibility for her children and turned more earnestly to writing as a profession.

Career and Achievements

Early Writing & Novels

After her marriage and especially following the divorce, Post’s literary career took shape. She began publishing short stories, magazine articles, and serials in magazines like Harper’s, Scribner’s, and The Century. She also wrote several novels, notably:

• Flight of a Moth (1904)

• Purple and Fine Linen (1905)

• Woven in the Tapestry (1908)

• The Title Market (1909)

• The Eagle’s Feather (1910)

In 1916, she published By Motor to the Golden Gate, chronicling a cross-country automobile trip she undertook from New York to San Francisco.

The Etiquette Book & Fame

In 1922, at age 50, Emily Post published Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home (often known simply as Etiquette). The work was a best-seller almost immediately, and it became a cultural touchstone for American manners.

Her book stood out from others by blending practical advice with vivid, readable prose and recurring example characters. She did repeated updates over time to keep it relevant in changing social contexts.

She also became a syndicated columnist, appeared on radio programs, and became a public authority on manners and social decorum.

In 1946, she founded the Emily Post Institute, which continues to steward her legacy and maintain modern editions of her works.

Later Years and Influence

Emily Post lived to the age of 87, passing away on September 25, 1960, in New York City. She is buried in Tuxedo Park, New York.

Her influence expanded beyond her lifetime. Successors in her family—first her granddaughter-in-law Elizabeth Post, then Peggy Post, and in more recent years Lizzie Post and Daniel Post Senning—have continued to update her etiquette works and guide modern social norms.

Her name became so linked with etiquette that the phrase “according to Emily Post” became shorthand for some definitive standard of polite behavior.

Legacy and Influence

Emily Post’s legacy is multifaceted:

• Etiquette as democratic tool: Her writings helped popularize manners not just as aristocratic pretension but as a way for Americans of varying backgrounds to navigate social life with consideration and civility.

• Adaptation over time: Her works were repeatedly revised to stay relevant, transitioning from strictly formal protocols to broader social contexts (e.g. business, politics, evolving social customs).

• Institutional continuity: The Emily Post Institute carries forward her mission, overseeing updated editions and offering educational resources.

• Cultural reference point: Her name remains a touchstone in discussions of manners, civility, and social conduct—cited in essays, journalism, and debates about how we behave in public or private life.

Even today, thinkers draw parallels between her guiding principles and modern challenges of civility in online discourse and public interactions.

Personality and Philosophy

Emily Post believed that etiquette was more than rigid rules—it was a reflection of character and mindfulness toward others. Her guiding ideas included:

• Consideration & sensitivity: She consistently emphasized that good manners begin with awareness of others’ feelings.

• Balance of formality and flexibility: While acknowledging certain formal standards, she also recognized that etiquette must adapt to context and changing times.

• Ethics behind manners: She viewed etiquette as intertwined with ethics—doing little things to avoid causing discomfort or offense to others.

• Humility about rules: She warned against overemphasizing external appearance or rituals at the expense of genuine kindness.

Her approach was not merely about sophistication, but about how people live with respect, decency, and empathy in everyday settings.

Famous Quotes by Emily Post

Here are some of Emily Post’s most quoted lines, which capture her worldview on manners, conversation, and social life:

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.”
“Good manners reflect something from inside—an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self.”
“Ideal conversation must be an exchange of thought, and not, as many of those who worry about their shortcomings believe, an eloquent exhibition of wit or oratory.”
“Nothing is less important than which fork you use.”
“The attributes of a great lady may still be found in the rule of the four S’s: Sincerity, Simplicity, Sympathy, and Serenity.”
“Any child can be taught to be beautifully behaved with no effort greater than quiet patience and perseverance, whereas to break bad habits once they are acquired is a Herculean task.”
“Never take more than your share — whether of the road in driving your car, of chairs on a boat or seats on a train, or food at the table.”
“Etiquette is the science of living. It embraces everything. It is ethics. It is simply how persons’ lives touch one another.”

These quotations reveal that her guidance was less about pedantry and more about cultivating empathy, respect, and dignity in daily life.

Lessons from Emily Post

From Emily Post’s life and work, we can draw several lessons relevant even today:

1. Manners begin with empathy
   Her recurring principle is that etiquette exists because we share spaces and interact; being mindful of others’ feelings is the foundation.

2. Standards evolve but principles endure
   While social norms shift (in technology, culture, diversity), the underlying ethics—honesty, respect, consideration—remain central.

3. Clarity and approachability matter
   Post’s writing was readable and engaging, not stiff or overly precious; that accessibility helped her influence a broad audience.

4. Legacy through adaptation
   The fact that her descendants and Institute continue to update and reinterpret her work shows how timeless ideas require fresh framing for new eras.

5. Consistency and thoughtfulness over ritualism
   She valued intent and the spirit of courtesy more than rigid rule-following detached from kindness.

Conclusion

Emily Post transformed how Americans—and beyond—think about manners, social grace, and human interaction. Through clear writing, ethical insight, and a recognition that manners are living, evolving practices, she created a framework that outlived her era. Her advice remains quoted, her institute remains active, and her name still evokes soft power in promoting civility in public and private life.

If you’d like, I can also provide a thematic selection of her quotes (on conversation, on hosts/guests, on children) or analyze how her advice has been reframed in modern etiquette guides.