Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller – Life, Comedy, and Legacy

Learn about Phyllis Diller (1917–2012), the trailblazing American comedian, actress, author, and artist. Explore her rise to fame, her style, challenges, and her enduring influence on comedy and culture.

Introduction

Phyllis Ada Diller (née Driver; July 17, 1917 – August 20, 2012) was an American stand-up comedian, actress, author, musician, and visual artist.

She was among the first female comics to achieve widespread fame in the U.S., known for her wild stage persona, exaggerated cackle, self-deprecating humor, and flamboyant costumes.

Her path was far from typical: she began her major stand-up career only in her late 30s, and turned many obstacles into material.

Early Life & Background

Phyllis Diller was born Phyllis Ada Driver in Lima, Ohio, on July 17, 1917. Perry Marcus Driver and Frances Ada (née Romshe).

Growing up, she experienced multiple funerals early in life (her father was older), which she later said gave her “an early appreciation for life.”

She attended Sherwood Music School and studied piano, then later enrolled at Bluffton College, though she did not complete a degree.

In 1939, she married Sherwood Anderson Diller; they had six children (one died in infancy).

For many years, she was mainly a homemaker, handling family responsibilities. Meanwhile, she worked in small jobs: advertising copywriting, radio and broadcasting roles, and locally in media.

Comedy Career & Breakthrough

Turning to Stand-Up

Phyllis Diller’s comedic career began relatively late. In 1955, at age 37, she made her professional stand-up debut at The Purple Onion club in San Francisco.

She initially tested jokes in her local PTA and community groups before venturing into clubs.

Her debut booking at The Purple Onion was so successful that what was scheduled as a two-week engagement extended to 89 consecutive weeks.

Her style drew on self-deprecation, observational humor, domestic life, aging, marriage, and her own appearance.

Television, Film & Voice Work

After her stand-up success, Diller expanded into television and film:

• She appeared as a guest on numerous talk shows and variety programs, and did specials with Bob Hope, becoming a frequent collaborator.

• Her film credits include Splendor in the Grass (1961) among many others.

• On TV, she had her own short-lived sitcom The Phyllis Diller Show and appeared as a regular guest or panelist on shows like The Hollywood Squares.

• Voice acting became part of her repertoire: she voiced Grandma Neutron in The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, the Monster’s Mate in Mad Monster Party?, the Queen in A Bug’s Life, and Thelma Griffin in Family Guy, among others.

Later Career, Retirement & Other Pursuits

Diller continued performing through the decades. In 2002, at age 84, she officially retired from stand-up, citing declining energy, and shifted her focus to other creative outlets.

She was a self-taught visual artist. Starting in the mid-1960s, she painted in watercolors, acrylics, and oils, and later held “art parties” to sell her works and stage costumes.

Her autobiography, Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse, co-written with Richard Buskin, came out in 2005, offering an unflinching look at her life and career.

Style, Persona & Comedy Philosophy

Phyllis Diller’s stage persona was highly stylized and exaggerated:

• Wild hair and costumes: her hair was often teased into wild form, and she wore bold, sometimes outrageous outfits.

• Cigarette holder prop: though she never actually smoked, she used a long cigarette holder as part of her persona.

• Cackling laugh: her signature laugh was loud, exaggerated, and instantly recognizable, almost a performance in itself.

• Self-deprecation: she joked about her looks, her marriage, aging, housework, and her fictional husband "Fang."

She often framed her humor in the domestic sphere, turning what might have been private insecurities into shared laughter.

She also publicly discussed plastic surgery—rare for public figures at the time—with comedic flair, bringing visibility to cosmetic procedures.

Personal Life & Challenges

Diller’s personal life had its share of difficulties:

• Her first marriage to Sherwood Diller ended; they had six children (one died in infancy).

• She later married actor Warde Donovan briefly in 1965; the marriage ended by 1975.

• From 1985 until his death in 1996, her longtime partner was Robert P. Hastings.

• In 1999, she suffered a health scare—her heart stopped—but she recovered, though with effects that limited her mobility.

• In her later years, she faced ailments typical of aging, including fractures and declining stamina.

On August 20, 2012, she died at her Los Angeles home from heart failure at the age of 95.

Legacy & Influence

Phyllis Diller’s impact on comedy and culture is significant:

• She is widely considered a pioneer among female stand-up comedians in the United States, opening doors in a male-dominated field.

• Comedians such as Joan Rivers, Roseanne Barr, Ellen DeGeneres, and others often cite her as a direct influence.

• Her gag file—a steel cabinet with over 50,000 jokes she wrote on index cards—became legendary and was donated to the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History.

• Her persona, laugh, and visual style (hair, costume, props) contributed to her icon status and inspired parody, homage, and study of comedic persona.

• Her work remains relevant within feminist, comedy, and pop culture histories as an example of how humor can push boundaries, critique social norms, and carve space for women’s voices.

Memorable Quotes

Some of Phyllis Diller’s witticisms:

• “Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?”

• “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”

• “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”

• “Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age — as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”

These reflect her blend of wit, self-mockery, and sardonic observation on everyday life.

Lessons from Phyllis Diller

• Start when you must, not when it’s easy. Diller launched her comedy career at an age when many are settled into other roles—but she embraced reinvention.

• Turn vulnerability into strength. She made jokes out of insecurity, aging, appearance—transforming them into universal laughter.

• Tradition + persona = icon. She combined visual distinctiveness (hair, props, costume) with verbal sharpness to forge a memorable brand.

• Persistence in the face of setbacks. Health crises, gender barriers, and late starts didn’t derail her—not permanently.

• Legacy through archives. Her joke collection, art, and persona continue to speak to new generations beyond her comedic performances.