A student never forgets an encouraging private word, when it is

Hear, O seekers of wisdom, the words of William Lyon Phelps, a teacher whose life was given to the nurturing of minds: “A student never forgets an encouraging private word, when it is given with sincere respect and admiration.” These words, though gentle, hold the weight of eternity. For they speak to the power of speech, the subtle force of encouragement, which can carve strength into the soul more deeply than years of labor or volumes of books.

The origin of this truth lies in Phelps’ long years as a professor at Yale, where he guided countless young men and women in the pursuit of knowledge. He saw with clear eyes that while lectures and books could fill the mind, it was the quiet word of personal encouragement, offered in private and delivered with sincerity, that filled the heart. A single moment of recognition could awaken courage in a student, inspire diligence, and light a flame that burns for a lifetime. Phelps himself, remembered by generations of pupils, became the embodiment of his own teaching.

To give an encouraging word is not merely to flatter. It is to see into the soul of the student and to call forth the good that lies within. When such words are spoken with respect, they affirm dignity; when spoken with admiration, they affirm worth. And because they are private, untainted by display or performance, they enter directly into the heart of the one who hears them. This is why the student “never forgets”—because such words are not noise, but nourishment.

History testifies to this power. Consider the story of Thomas Edison, who as a boy was dismissed as slow and incapable by his schoolmasters. Yet his mother, with unwavering faith, whispered to him that he was gifted, that he would achieve what others could not see. That single encouraging word, spoken with sincerity, became the seed from which the great inventor’s life unfolded. Without it, his flame might have been extinguished by neglect. With it, he illuminated the world.

The wisdom of Phelps’ words is also a warning. For just as an encouraging word can lift a soul, so too can careless or cruel words wound it deeply. A student who is belittled or mocked in private may carry that scar for life. Teachers, parents, and leaders must therefore remember the sacred weight of their speech. Every word has the power to create or destroy, to heal or to harm. The wise choose creation, encouragement, and admiration, knowing that what they plant in youth will bear fruit for decades to come.

What then is the lesson for us? It is this: speak with intention. When you see good in another, do not withhold it. Tell them in quiet, sincere tones. Your words may seem small, but to them they may be the difference between despair and determination. Do not wait for grand moments—seize the ordinary, for in those ordinary moments lies the chance to shape a destiny.

Therefore, O listeners, let your practice be this: become generous with respect, liberal with admiration, and fearless in offering encouragement. In your families, your classrooms, your workplaces, speak to others as Phelps spoke to his students. For the memory of such words will outlast achievements, wealth, or even power. They will echo in the minds of those who once doubted, carrying them onward to greatness.

Thus let Phelps’ wisdom endure: “A student never forgets an encouraging private word, when it is given with sincere respect and admiration.” For in these words lies the secret of true teaching and true leadership: to see greatness in another before they see it in themselves, and to speak it forth with honesty and love. This is how lives are changed, and how wisdom passes from generation to generation.