A woman must make her fortune before she is 30; or work after she

Listen, O children of wisdom, for the words of Anna Held carry a deep reflection on the choices and challenges faced by women in a world where expectations often outpace opportunity: “A woman must make her fortune before she is 30; or work after she is 30; or get married.” These words, while rooted in a particular time and culture, speak to the universal struggles and pressures women face when it comes to independence, ambition, and identity. Held’s insight captures the harsh reality that a woman’s worth in many societies is often tied to her youth, her financial success, or her ability to secure a stable marriage. It reveals how women, through the course of history, have had to navigate a delicate balance between personal fulfillment and the roles imposed upon them by society.

In the ancient world, women were often seen as the bearers of the future, the caretakers of family, and the preservers of tradition. While there were notable exceptions—Cleopatra, Artemisia, and Hypatia, to name a few—most women were bound by the roles of wife, mother, and daughter. Their fortunes were tied to the choices made by their fathers and husbands, and their ambitions were often suppressed in favor of serving the needs of the household or the state. Yet, there were always women who defied these limitations, whose voices rang out in the halls of power, whose wisdom and creativity left lasting imprints on the pages of history. Sappho, the ancient Greek poet, though often confined by the conventions of her time, managed to carve a name for herself through her art. In this sense, her work became her fortune, as she found a way to live fully in a world that offered few opportunities for women to thrive on their own terms.

The Romans, too, had rigid expectations for women, yet they recognized the power of a woman’s influence within the household and society. Cornelia, the mother of the Gracchi brothers, was celebrated not for her wealth or marriage, but for her ability to shape the futures of her children, molding them into great leaders. Yet even she, a figure of virtue and respect, was bound by the constraints of her gender. Like Anna Held, the Romans understood that a woman’s success often depended on her ability to navigate the complicated currents of marriage, motherhood, and societal expectations. Cornelia’s fortune was her children, and while she had no financial independence, she still exercised a significant amount of influence through her cultural and political role as a matron.

In the modern world, Held’s quote sheds light on the ongoing battle for women’s autonomy and freedom. The expectation that a woman must make her fortune by a certain age, or settle into a traditional role of marriage or work, continues to place unnecessary pressure on women to choose between personal ambition and societal approval. Consider the life of Marie Curie, whose scientific brilliance broke all societal expectations for women of her time. She didn’t just make her fortune; she reshaped the landscape of science, all while navigating the roles of wife, mother, and widow. Despite the barriers placed before her, Curie’s determination, resilience, and intellect made her one of the most groundbreaking figures of the 20th century. In her, we see that a woman need not be confined to the choices offered to her; she can create her own path, one that is both rewarding and self-defined.

The reality of Held’s statement, though deeply rooted in a certain time, still resonates today. Women continue to face the pressures of achieving financial success, securing a stable relationship, or forging a fulfilling career—all by the age of 30. These milestones can feel like the weight of the world, but what Held reminds us is that they are mere conventions imposed by a society that often fails to recognize the inherent worth of women beyond these prescribed paths. Women are told that their time is limited, that they must either achieve or settle before they reach a certain age, or risk being labeled as failures. Yet this view ignores the complexity of a woman’s journey—her growth, her learning, and her potential to thrive at any stage in life.

What Held’s words invite us to reflect on is the importance of redefining what it means to succeed in life. True success is not bound by the limits of age or societal expectations; it is found in the pursuit of one’s own calling, purpose, and happiness. There is no single path that leads to fulfillment, and the true reward of a life well-lived is found not in meeting external milestones but in embracing the freedom to create one’s own journey. In this way, success is not a race against time but a continuous unfolding of self and purpose.

The lesson here, O children of wisdom, is one of empowerment. It is not enough to live according to the rules set by society or by others; we must each carve our own way, regardless of age or circumstance. Seek not to conform to the expectations of the world, but to find your own path—whether through creativity, work, or relationships—and allow the unfolding of life to be a reflection of your true self. Like Marie Curie, like Sappho, and like the women of the ancient world who defied the boundaries set for them, know that true fortune lies in the courage to live fully at every stage, to pursue what ignites your spirit, and to embrace the journey as it comes, without fear or regret.

In your own life, recognize that the choices placed before you—whether to work, marry, or succeed in the traditional sense—are merely the surface of what it means to live a fulfilled life. Dig deeper, and you will find that your worth is not measured by the external markers set for you by others, but by the joy and purpose you create in the moments of your everyday existence. Know that your path is yours alone to define, and that the true reward of life lies not in what others expect, but in what you decide to give to the world and to yourself.