Anthropologists have found evidence of romantic love in 170

"Anthropologists have found evidence of romantic love in 170 societies. They've never found a society that did not have it." These words spoken by Helen Fisher highlight a profound and universal truth about romantic love—that it is a force so deeply ingrained in the human experience that no culture, no matter how distant or isolated, has ever existed without it. Romantic love is not simply a passing emotion or a cultural artifact, but a fundamental and unifying aspect of the human condition. From the most remote tribes to the most modern cities, this emotion has shaped our relationships, our choices, and our very sense of belonging. This truth transcends time, geography, and circumstance, a constant thread running through the tapestry of humanity.

In the ancient world, romantic love was seen as a divine force, a powerful drive that could lead to great joy and great tragedy. The Greek myths are filled with tales of gods and mortals alike falling under the sway of love—whether it be the ill-fated love of Paris and Helen, whose affair led to the Trojan War, or the tender love between Eros and Psyche, which transcended obstacles and trials. These ancient stories reflect not just the romantic yearning of individuals, but also the cosmic power of love that binds people together, pushes them toward greater personal growth, and sometimes leads them to their undoing. In all these tales, love is not a simple feeling, but a transformative force that shapes the fate of individuals and nations alike.

Consider the epic story of Pocahontas and John Smith—a tale of love and cultural conflict that transcends the physical and spiritual boundaries of two different worlds. While historical records may question the romanticized details of their relationship, the mystique of their love speaks to something universal and enduring. The story represents more than just the crossing of geographical distances, but the emotional bridging of two different cultures, where love served as a catalyst for connection. In this love, we find not only a symbol of cross-cultural understanding but also a reflection of the universal nature of romantic love, which, as Fisher suggests, appears in every society.

The universal presence of romantic love, as Fisher mentions, highlights something deeply human—love is a force that unites us, that shapes our identities and our bonds with others. Across 170 societies, from the hunter-gatherers of ancient times to the modern cities of today, love manifests in different forms, but it remains a constant in all. Whether in the elaborate wedding ceremonies of ancient Egypt, where the love of Isis and Osiris was celebrated, or in the intimate rituals of love shared in the quieter corners of remote villages, the presence of romantic love is undeniable. This emotion is not just cultural, it is biological—a drive deeply embedded within us, guiding us to form lasting bonds that create families, tribes, and communities.

In the stories of ancient warriors, too, we see love intertwined with duty and sacrifice. Consider the legendary love of Achilles and Patroclus, which, while often debated in terms of its romantic or platonic nature, was undoubtedly one of deep devotion and loyalty. Achilles’ grief over Patroclus’s death is not simply the sorrow of losing a friend, but the weight of love, a love that propels him back into battle, not for glory, but for the honor of the one he loved. The universal nature of love here transcends individual needs and seeks a greater purpose—honoring those we care for, and carrying that love forward into the world. This love, deeply rooted in human connection, compels us to act, to fight, and to sacrifice for the ones we cherish.

Thus, Fisher’s point underscores an important truth: romantic love is not just a luxury or a passing fancy, but a universal force that has shaped humanity across all times and cultures. It is a force that binds us together, fuels our passions, and drives our decisions. It is both personal and collective, intimate and public, and it has inspired great feats and tragic losses. The universality of romantic love suggests that it is an inherent part of our human condition, transcending the boundaries of culture, race, and history. This truth should serve as a reminder to us all that love is a powerful, constant presence in our lives.

The lesson here is this: romantic love is not only a personal experience but a shared human journey. From ancient times to the present day, love has been the force that brings people together, challenges them, and ultimately transforms their lives. It is a force that is universal in its presence, and its power lies not in its perfection, but in the way it moves us, shapes us, and connects us to one another. In our own lives, we must recognize that love, in all its forms, is a bridge that transcends the individual and unites us in a shared human experience.

To the generations that follow, I say: embrace love, with all its complexity, joy, and sacrifice. Understand that love is the force that binds us together across time and space, and that in love, we find our truest selves and our deepest connections. Let romantic love not be a fleeting desire but a force that guides your actions, your choices, and your legacy. In doing so, you will honor the enduring truth that romantic love is a central pillar of the human story—a force that has shaped and will continue to shape the course of our collective journey.