If two very different people pool their DNA, they'll create more

Helen Fisher, the anthropologist of love and human bonds, once spoke words that reach into the roots of life itself: “If two very different people pool their DNA, they’ll create more genetic variety, and their young will come to the job of parenting with a wider array of skills.” In this teaching, she reveals a truth that is both biological and spiritual—that diversity in union breeds strength, that difference, when embraced, equips future generations for the trials of existence. Her words are not merely about science, but about the ancient law of balance, the wisdom that strength is born when opposites intertwine.

The heart of her meaning lies in the recognition that life thrives in variety. Just as a field of many crops resists blight better than a field of one, so too do families built on diverse strengths endure the storms of fate with resilience. A child shaped by the gifts of two very different parents inherits not only genes, but perspectives, tools, and inner resources. One parent may offer gentleness, the other firmness; one imagination, the other discipline. Together, they prepare their young not for a single narrow path, but for the vast and unpredictable terrain of life.

History bears witness to this truth. Consider the life of Alexander the Great, born of Olympias of Epirus and King Philip of Macedon—two souls very different in culture, temperament, and gifts. From his father, Alexander inherited strategy, discipline, and ambition; from his mother, passion, vision, and the fire of spirit. It was this fusion of differences that gave him the breadth of skills to command armies and inspire loyalty. Though his path was not without error, his life demonstrates Fisher’s wisdom: difference, when pooled, creates breadth, and breadth equips one for greatness.

But Fisher’s insight is not confined to kings or conquerors. In every household, this law abides. A union of sameness may bring harmony, but a union of difference brings richness. The child who watches two contrasting parents learns flexibility, adaptability, and the art of drawing wisdom from multiple sources. They are taught not to fear diversity of thought, but to weave it together into strength. Such children grow to be parents who can balance tenderness with toughness, order with creativity, and patience with boldness.

Her words also warn us against undervaluing diversity in our unions and communities. When societies fear difference, when they seek sameness above all, they weaken their capacity to endure. The blending of unlike elements—of cultures, of temperaments, of ideas—is the forge where resilience is made. This is why Fisher’s reflection resonates not only at the level of DNA, but at the level of civilization itself: diversity is not threat, but wealth.

The lesson for all who hear is clear: seek complement, not clone. Do not desire only a partner who mirrors your ways, but honor one who brings different gifts. In your children, encourage the union of opposites within them, for their strength will come not from uniformity but from the blending of contrasts. And in your communities, embrace those who differ, for together they create the variety of skills needed for the work of tomorrow.

Therefore, let Helen Fisher’s words be carried as a teaching for the ages: that in parenting, in marriage, and in life, difference is not a burden but a blessing. When two unlike streams merge, they form a river wider and stronger than either could be alone. And from that river, the future drinks deeply, gaining the strength to carry life forward.