By 29, I'd gone on dozens of first dates and had handfuls of

The journalist and storyteller Alisyn Camerota once spoke with rare honesty about the trials of the heart when she said: “By 29, I'd gone on dozens of first dates and had handfuls of yearlong relationships. I thought I was practicing for marriage. Today, I know dating and marriage involve entirely different skill sets.” In these words lies a deep truth about love, growth, and the illusions that often accompany youth. For many believe that the rituals of romance — the first meeting, the laughter, the thrill of discovery — are the foundation of lifelong partnership. Yet as Camerota reminds us, dating teaches us how to attract, while marriage demands that we learn how to endure, to nurture, and to stay. The one begins with excitement; the other survives through devotion.

Alisyn Camerota, who spent her early years navigating both professional ambition and personal longing, speaks for a generation raised on the myth of perfect compatibility — the idea that love, once found, will remain effortless. But in her reflection, we hear the voice of wisdom gained through time. She learned, as all must, that the art of companionship is far different from the art of pursuit. Dating is performance — a dance of presentation and discovery — while marriage is truth, the unveiling of two imperfect souls learning to coexist in tenderness and patience. What she once thought was rehearsal, she later understood was merely introduction.

The ancients, too, understood this transformation of love from passion to perseverance. The philosopher Plato spoke of love as a ladder, where one ascends from physical attraction toward spiritual understanding. The beginning, like dating, is filled with desire and illusion, but the climb toward deeper love requires discipline, forgiveness, and the courage to see another not as ideal, but as real. Marriage, in this sense, is not a prize but a pilgrimage — the daily act of choosing the same person even when the music of first attraction fades.

Consider the story of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, whose union began in youthful affection and matured into profound partnership. In their early years, their love was marked by passion and admiration, but it was through years of shared struggle — the demands of empire, the grief of loss, the burden of duty — that their bond was tested and strengthened. When Albert died, Victoria mourned him not as the lover of her youth, but as the companion of her life’s purpose. Their love endured because it evolved. So it is with all true unions: marriage is not the continuation of romance but the transformation of it.

Camerota’s realization unveils a modern truth hidden beneath ancient wisdom: that relationships are not perfected through repetition but through revelation. No number of first dates can prepare one for the slow, unglamorous art of living beside another — of forgiving mistakes, sharing silence, and building a life brick by brick. Dating asks, “Do I enjoy this moment?” but marriage asks, “Can I walk with you through all moments?” The skills are not the same, for one requires charm, and the other requires courage.

This truth, though simple, is profound: love matures only when the self does. Many enter marriage believing they are continuing the joy of courtship, only to discover that they are beginning a new and more sacred work — the work of understanding, compromise, and shared growth. The thrill of romance may fade, but in its place arises something more enduring: companionship, trust, and the peace of being fully known. That is why Camerota’s words ring with such timeless resonance — they speak not of disappointment, but of awakening. She discovered that love’s truest form is not found in the chase, but in the staying.

So, my listener, take this wisdom to heart. Do not mistake the spark of attraction for the fire of devotion. Learn to cultivate both — to enjoy the beauty of beginnings, yet prepare for the depth of continuance. If you seek love, do not only ask who excites your heart, but who steadies it. For dating may teach you how to open your heart, but marriage teaches you how to keep it open. And in the end, that is the greatest of all skill sets — to love not only when life is light and easy, but when the storms arrive, and two hearts, once uncertain, learn at last to stand as one.