Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and

"Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom." Thus spoke Tim Allen, the craftsman of laughter and wisdom wrapped in jest, whose words echo far beyond the realm of comedy. In this reflection, he touches upon one of the oldest and most sacred truths of human life — that the family is the first temple of learning, and the father and mother its living teachers. The home, in its humble simplicity, is the cradle where virtue is shaped, where children learn not by instruction but by imitation.

What Allen speaks of is not merely domestic order, but the profound alchemy of example. For no words, however eloquent, can teach as powerfully as the steady radiance of a loving relationship. A child, unclouded by cynicism, sees all and absorbs all — the tone of a voice, the gesture of kindness, the small courtesies that pass between parents like silent prayers. When a father treats his mate — his wife, his partner, his companion — with respect, he does more than honor her; he plants in his children the seed of reverence for love itself. And when that respect is mingled with humor and friendship, the household becomes a place not of command and obedience, but of joy and unity.

In ancient times, philosophers understood that children were mirrors of their parents’ souls. Confucius taught that the virtue of a nation begins with the virtue of the home, and that harmony between husband and wife ripples outward to create peace in the world. A father who is harsh, a mother who is bitter — these breed not obedience but fear. But a father who laughs with his wife, who cherishes her openly, who listens and honors her voice — such a man becomes a living lesson in gentleness and strength. The child who grows up in that warmth learns that love is not weakness, but wisdom; not obligation, but friendship made holy by patience and care.

Consider the life of Marcus Aurelius, emperor and philosopher. Though his days were filled with battle and duty, his writings in Meditations reveal a deep affection and gratitude for his wife, Faustina. He spoke not of conquest or dominion at home, but of mutual respect and shared duty. It is said that when his children watched their parents walk through the gardens of Rome, laughing softly, they saw no ruler and consort — only two companions bound by love and understanding. Thus, even an emperor knew that the greatest kingdom a man may rule is his own household, and the noblest crown is respect for his mate.

Allen’s words also carry a touch of humor, as all true wisdom does. He reminds us that love, to endure, must also be fun — that laughter in the home is not a luxury, but a necessity. The playful glance, the shared joke, the small adventures between parents — these are not trivialities, but living proof to children that love can grow without growing dull. For when a child sees their parents dance in the kitchen, or share a smile across the dinner table, they learn that marriage is not a cage, but a friendship that matures into joy. The father who forgets to laugh, forgets to lead by joy — and a home without joy becomes a temple without light.

“Kids learn by example.” These words may seem simple, yet they are the foundation upon which all moral teaching rests. No sermon, no lecture, can replace the quiet power of consistency. The father who demands respect for the mother but offers none himself builds a house of contradiction; the father who honors her teaches without words. For the soul of the child is clay — soft, impressionable, and pure — and every act of love or cruelty, of laughter or silence, leaves its mark. Thus, the wise father knows that to raise good children, he must first be a good husband.

Lesson: The truest inheritance a parent can give is not wealth or wisdom in words, but the example of love lived daily — of respect, friendship, and humor woven into the fabric of the home. Children do not become who we tell them to be; they become who we are.

Practical action: Let fathers and mothers remember to show tenderness before their children, to speak gently even in disagreement, to laugh together even in toil. Let the father honor the mother, not only in grand gestures but in the quiet rituals of everyday life — in listening, in gratitude, in laughter. Let the mother return that grace with equal respect. For when love is visible, when friendship reigns within the home, the children will carry its light into the world — and thus the wisdom of Tim Allen becomes timeless truth: to teach respect, first live it.