Dating is hard enough in the light, so I can't wait to see what

“Dating is hard enough in the light, so I can’t wait to see what unfolds when the lights are off!” Thus spoke Sarah Harding, the spirited songstress whose humor cloaked a deeper truth. Her words, though playful, speak to the mystery and vulnerability of love — that dating, even when seen clearly and openly, is already a challenge, a dance between courage and fear, honesty and performance. Yet when she speaks of the lights being off, she invites us to consider the greater trial: the revealing of who we truly are when appearances fade and only authenticity remains.

In the light, the world sees us as we wish to be seen — adorned, composed, and shielded by confidence. The rituals of courtship have always depended on such light: the polished conversation, the charming gesture, the art of impression. Yet, as Harding reminds us, even in this brightness, love remains difficult. For beneath every meeting lies the question: Will this person see me as I truly am, and will I see them beyond the surface? And when the light dims — when pretense and polish fade — the truth of the heart must speak for itself. Thus, “when the lights are off,” we face not merely another person, but the reflection of our own hidden fears and desires.

The ancients understood this metaphor long before the invention of modern dating. In the myth of Eros and Psyche, the maiden Psyche was forbidden to look upon her divine lover’s face. When she disobeyed and lit a lamp to see him, the illusion was shattered, and hardship followed. Yet it was through that hardship that she grew wise and earned the right to love truly. Her story is the same lesson that Harding’s jest conceals: that love tested in darkness — when sight and certainty are gone — is the truest kind. The “lights off” become not a setting for deceit, but a stage for truth.

Still, Harding’s tone carries laughter — the laughter of one who knows that love is both absurd and divine. She speaks with irony, for in a world that prizes image and performance, she admits that even with the best of intentions, dating is fraught with misunderstanding. And so, she looks toward the dark with both trepidation and curiosity. Her humor is a shield, but also a torch — illuminating how the unknown, though frightening, holds the promise of revelation. The darkness, after all, strips away distraction. When the eyes cannot see, the heart learns to listen.

Consider the tale of Helen Keller, who, though blind and deaf, came to perceive the world through touch, emotion, and intuition. Her teacher, Anne Sullivan, taught her that true understanding comes not through sight, but through connection. In the same way, Harding’s quote suggests that when the “lights are off” — when we cannot rely on charm or appearance — we are forced to encounter one another with deeper senses. The blindness of darkness becomes an awakening of sincerity. Love, then, becomes not an act of seeing, but of feeling, not of perfection, but of presence.

There is also courage in Harding’s words — the courage to face uncertainty with humor. To say “I can’t wait to see what unfolds” is to meet the unknown not with fear, but with curiosity. The darkness she speaks of is both literal and symbolic — the uncertain future, the hidden aspects of others, and the uncharted parts of ourselves. To date, to love, to open one’s heart, is always to walk into darkness. But those who walk laughing, as Harding does, discover that fear loses its power when met with joy.

Let this be your lesson, then, my children: do not fear the darkness of love. The light may reveal faces, but the dark reveals truth. Do not be discouraged if the rituals of dating seem weary or uncertain; every generation has struggled to bridge the distance between two souls. Instead, welcome both the light and the dark — the laughter of the beginning, the honesty of what follows. Be unafraid to stumble, for even in the darkness, those who walk with open hearts will find their way.

For in the end, Sarah Harding’s playful wisdom reminds us that love is both comedy and pilgrimage. Dating is difficult, yes — in the light or in the dark — but it is also sacred work. When the lights go out, masks fall away, and what unfolds is the truth of who we are. And if we dare to meet that truth — awkward, tender, imperfect — we will find that even in darkness, love can still shine brighter than the stars.