First, accept sadness. Realize that without losing, winning isn't

In the quiet voice of wisdom that comes only through experience, Alyssa Milano once said: “First, accept sadness. Realize that without losing, winning isn’t so great.” These words, though gentle in tone, carry a truth as old as the human heart — that joy and sorrow are not enemies, but companions. To accept sadness is not to surrender to despair, but to acknowledge the full range of life’s colors. Without the shadows of loss, triumph would have no light; without pain, there could be no depth to pleasure. In her reflection, Milano reminds us that to live fully is to embrace both — to find meaning not in victory alone, but in the balance of both suffering and celebration.

From the dawn of history, the wise have spoken this same truth in many tongues. The ancients of the East taught that the lotus, symbol of enlightenment, grows only from the mud; the poets of Greece sang that joy is sweetest when it rises from sorrow. In every era, humanity has learned that growth blooms through hardship. Sadness refines the spirit; it burns away illusion, leaving behind the essence of strength. Losing, too, teaches what winning cannot — humility, gratitude, and the understanding that success is not a permanent state but a fleeting moment in the eternal rhythm of change.

Consider the tale of Abraham Lincoln, who knew the taste of failure more than most. Before becoming one of the greatest leaders of his age, he lost elections, endured heartbreak, and battled years of deep melancholy. Yet it was that very sadness, that confrontation with the shadows within, that gave him the compassion and steadiness to guide a fractured nation. Through loss, he gained perspective; through grief, he found greatness. His victories were not diminished by his failures — they were made more profound because of them. Without those defeats, the sweetness of triumph would have been hollow.

This is the wisdom that Milano’s words awaken: that to win without loss is to know only half of life. The one who has never known sadness may appear happy, yet their joy is shallow — for it has never been tested. The soul that endures pain, however, gains a joy that cannot be shaken, because it is built upon understanding. Sadness opens the heart, softens pride, and teaches empathy. It is not the opposite of happiness, but its soil. From it grow compassion, forgiveness, and the quiet strength that no success alone can give.

Yet in our age, many flee from sadness as though it were a disease. They chase constant pleasure, fearing that to feel sorrow is to fail. But those who reject sadness reject a vital part of themselves. To accept sadness is to honor one’s humanity — to look within and say, “Even this is part of me.” The wise do not resist their tears; they let them fall, knowing that each one waters the seeds of renewal. Just as the storm clears the air, so does sorrow cleanse the heart. To live without ever losing is to live without depth, without wisdom, without gratitude.

Even the natural world whispers this truth. The seasons themselves teach it: spring’s joy follows winter’s stillness, and no flower blooms without first enduring the dark. The tree grows stronger through the storm; the mountain becomes smooth through the erosion of time. Nature accepts its cycles of loss and rebirth — and in doing so, it thrives. So too must the human heart learn to see sorrow not as a punishment, but as a teacher sent to prepare it for joy.

The lesson, then, is clear and timeless: do not fear sadness. When loss comes, meet it as an old friend, knowing it bears a gift you have yet to understand. Let yourself feel it, not to drown in it, but to learn from its depths. And when victory comes, cherish it — not because it lasts forever, but because you know it will not. In this way, every joy becomes sacred, every moment precious. The one who has tasted loss does not take triumph for granted; the one who has cried deeply can laugh without restraint.

So remember, my children of tomorrow: winning and losing are not opposites, but partners in the dance of life. Welcome both, and you will live fully. The shallow heart chases victory alone, but the wise heart embraces the whole — joy and sorrow, rise and fall, gain and loss — and finds beauty in them all. For as Alyssa Milano teaches, to accept sadness is not weakness, but awakening; and only those who have known loss can truly know how wondrous it is to win.