Have patience with all things, But, first of all with yourself.

Hear, O seeker of wisdom, the gentle yet commanding voice of Saint Francis de Sales, who declared: “Have patience with all things, but, first of all, with yourself.” In these words lies a teaching as deep as the roots of the earth and as vast as the heavens. For man is often most merciless not to others, but to his own soul. He demands perfection in haste, condemns his stumbles, and despairs of his weaknesses. Yet the saint, with the compassion of a shepherd, reminds us that the journey to virtue is not forged in cruelty toward oneself, but in patient love and steady endurance.

The ancients knew that all growth is slow. The seed does not bloom the day it is planted; the river does not carve the canyon in a single season. So too with the soul: to expect instant perfection is folly. Patience with yourself is the recognition that you are a work in progress, that every failing is not the end of the path but a step upon it. As the sculptor chips away at the marble, the first blows may seem rough, yet without them, the statue cannot emerge. In the same way, our flaws and struggles are part of the chisel that shapes us into nobility.

Consider the life of Saint Augustine. For years he wandered in the shadow of desire and doubt, chasing pleasures that left him empty. He despaired of his own weakness, saying, “Lord, make me pure, but not yet.” Yet in time, with patience and guidance, he turned his restless heart toward truth and became one of the greatest teachers of the Church. Had he abandoned himself in self-hatred, had he despaired of ever changing, the world would have lost his brilliance. His story is proof that patient endurance with oneself leads to transformation.

But mark this well: patience with yourself is not license for idleness. It does not mean excusing vice or delaying effort. Rather, it is the strength to rise again after every fall, to forgive oneself enough to continue the struggle. For the man who despairs of his own weakness lays down his sword before the battle is done, while the man who endures his failures with patience learns to fight on until victory.

Saint Francis de Sales lived this teaching in his own gentle way. Surrounded by religious conflict and personal hardship, he did not lash out in anger or condemn others harshly. Instead, he walked in calm perseverance, showing mercy to others because he had first learned mercy toward himself. His patience was not weakness but strength—the strength to endure, to teach, and to inspire without bitterness. Thus his words come to us as a lamp for our own weary hearts.

The lesson for us is clear: do not crush yourself beneath the weight of impossible expectations. Do not abandon the path because you stumble upon it. Treat yourself as you would a friend who falters—with correction, yes, but also with encouragement, forgiveness, and hope. For only by showing patience to yourself can you extend true patience to the world around you. The impatient heart, harsh with itself, soon grows harsh with others.

Therefore, beloved listener, take action: when you fail, do not surrender; when you err, do not despair. Speak to yourself not with scorn, but with resolve: “I will try again tomorrow. I will grow, slowly but surely.” Practice kindness inwardly, and let that kindness flow outward like a river. Each day, choose one small step toward virtue, and forgive yourself if you stumble on the path.

And so the words of Saint Francis de Sales shine across the centuries: “Have patience with all things, but, first of all, with yourself.” For in that patience is hidden the secret of endurance, the seed of growth, and the power to live with peace. Let this be your armor and your comfort: to walk steadily, to forgive deeply, and to rise again, until the image of greatness within you is revealed.