Having children tests even the strongest of couples because it

The words of Coleen Nolan — “Having children tests even the strongest of couples because it changes everything forever. For the most part, these changes are positive, but there are certain aspects of parenthood that are hard and put your relationship under pressure — sleepless nights and having far less time alone together are just two of them.” — carry a quiet and universal truth, one forged in the daily trials of love and family. They speak not from theory, but from experience — from the lived wisdom of those who have loved, struggled, and endured together. In her words lies both a celebration and a warning: that the gift of children is one of life’s greatest joys, yet it comes wrapped in the sacred weight of transformation. For when two souls become parents, they do not simply welcome a child — they step into a new world, one that will test the depth of their unity and the endurance of their love.

At the heart of Nolan’s reflection is the understanding that love before children and love after children are not the same. The passion that once burned between two individuals becomes both tempered and transformed. Parenthood demands sacrifice, patience, and resilience — qualities that must replace the easy romance of earlier days. She speaks of change that is permanent, for once a child enters the world, nothing — not time, not sleep, not the rhythm of daily life — remains untouched. The couple must learn to love each other in new ways: through exhaustion instead of leisure, through quiet glances instead of long conversations, through shared burdens instead of shared adventures. The love that survives this transformation is not lesser; it is deeper, purified by fire and duty.

Her words are neither cynical nor despairing. When she says “for the most part, these changes are positive,” she reminds us that though the journey of parenthood is difficult, it is also holy. The sleepless nights she mentions — those endless vigils beside the crib, those weary dawns — are not marks of loss but of growth. For in giving themselves to another life, parents learn what it means to love selflessly, to serve without thought of reward. The loss of time alone, too, is part of this transformation; the couple’s world grows wider, expanding from two to three, or four, or more. What was once private becomes shared, what was once leisurely becomes sacredly chaotic. Parenthood reshapes love into something stronger and more enduring — the love of companionship through struggle.

History has shown that even the greatest hearts have been tested by the demands of family. Consider Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher-emperor of Rome. Though he ruled a vast empire and wrote with divine calm of reason and virtue, his life as a father was one of sorrow and strain. He lost children to illness, and his marriage, though enduring, was shadowed by the burdens of power and duty. Yet, through it all, he wrote in his Meditations that “to love and to bear” was the essence of a good life. His words echo Nolan’s sentiment: that the test of love is not in ease, but in endurance, not in harmony untouched by trouble, but in steadfastness when life changes everything.

And yet, Nolan’s insight carries a gentleness that the ancients would admire. She speaks not as one who condemns the strain of parenthood, but as one who embraces it with honesty. She acknowledges the exhaustion, the distance that sometimes grows between partners, the loss of solitude — but she does so with compassion. For these struggles are not signs of failure; they are signs of life. To be tested is to be refined. Every moment of fatigue and frustration can become a moment of renewal if met with understanding and grace. The strongest couples are not those untouched by hardship, but those who learn to bend, to forgive, and to remember why they began the journey together.

There is a deeper wisdom hidden here — that parenthood is a crucible in which love is transformed from passion to purpose. It strips away illusions and demands truth. It teaches two people to see not only each other, but the reflection of themselves in the small, fragile life they have created. In caring for a child, they rediscover the essence of partnership — to support, to listen, to protect, to hope. The tests Nolan speaks of are not obstacles to love, but the very means by which love matures. Like iron under the hammer, the bond between parents is shaped into something unbreakable by the blows of hardship.

The lesson of Coleen Nolan’s words is both tender and powerful: cherish your partnership as you cherish your children. Understand that the trials of parenthood are not the enemy of love but its proving ground. When exhaustion comes, meet it with patience; when time together grows scarce, guard it fiercely; when tempers flare, remember that love is larger than weariness. Speak kindly. Forgive quickly. See in your partner not the imperfections of the moment, but the courage of one who walks the same demanding path beside you.

So, O seeker of enduring love, take heart in Nolan’s wisdom. Parenthood changes everything, yes — but if you walk through its fires with tenderness and truth, it will change you for the better. In the sleepless nights, find gratitude; in the loss of time, find meaning; in the pressure, find strength. For love that endures the tests of life is no fragile thing — it is the deep, steady flame that guides a family through every storm, and it is the truest reflection of what it means to be human.