I understand online dating can feel a bit like looking through a

“I understand online dating can feel a bit like looking through a catalogue but, like a catalogue, there is a returns policy!” Thus spoke Coleen Nolan, with laughter in her voice and wisdom in her heart. Her words may be playful, but behind their humor lies an ancient and enduring insight into the nature of love, choice, and human connection. In this age of digital encounters, where affection can be sought with the swipe of a finger and the soul reduced to a profile picture, her jest becomes a teaching — a reminder that even in the realm of modern love, humility, discernment, and second chances still reign.

To the ancients, love was never a marketplace, though it was often treated as such. Suitors presented gifts, dowries were exchanged, and alliances were forged not only by affection but by advantage. And yet, even they knew that the heart cannot be purchased, nor can destiny be arranged by convenience. Nolan’s comparison of online dating to a catalogue reveals the paradox of modern romance — that the quest for love has become both easier and more complicated. The world now lies at our fingertips, yet the soul must still do its ancient work: to seek, to judge, to open, and sometimes, to let go.

Her wit about the “returns policy” is not cynicism, but liberation. She speaks to those disheartened by failure — those who have chosen poorly, been disappointed, or lost faith in love’s promise. In her lighthearted metaphor, she grants permission to begin again. Just as the buyer returns the garment that does not fit, so too may the heart release what is not meant for it. This is not an act of cruelty, but of wisdom. For the heart must be tried and tested before it finds its true home. Love is not found by perfection, but by persistence.

There is a story from the ancient world that reflects this truth. When Socrates was asked whether one should marry, he replied, “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” Beneath his jest lay the same wisdom that Nolan offers: that not every match will fit, and that failure in love is not a mark of shame, but a teacher of character. Each relationship, even those that falter, refines the soul’s understanding of itself. And like the philosopher who grows wise through trial, the one who dares to love again learns the art of discernment — to recognize what truly nourishes the heart.

To “return” what does not suit is, therefore, not to reject love but to honor it. It is to acknowledge that both parties deserve truth rather than pretense. The ancients taught that honesty is the foundation of all noble things, and so too in love it is the highest kindness to let go of that which is false. In Nolan’s words, wrapped in humor, we find a call to both self-respect and compassion: to seek connection without desperation, to release disappointment without bitterness, and to understand that every ending is but a new beginning.

Yet, her jest also warns us. To treat love like a catalogue is to risk forgetting its sanctity. For though choice is a blessing, it can also become a curse. Too much abundance can dull the heart’s gratitude, and the search for “better” can blind one to the beauty of “enough.” The wise lover, therefore, walks the middle path — embracing freedom without abandoning reverence. Love, after all, is not a product to be acquired, but a soul to be cherished. It cannot be ordered, traded, or refunded without consequence.

So, my children, take Coleen Nolan’s words not merely as humor, but as counsel for the heart. Laugh, yes — for laughter lightens the spirit — but also listen deeply. Be patient in your seeking, be kind in your parting, and be honest always. Do not fear the “returns,” for even in rejection there is growth. Each choice, each encounter, is part of your becoming. When love fits, you will know — not by perfection, but by peace.

For in the end, Nolan’s playful truth belongs to the same wisdom that has guided lovers since the dawn of time: that love, like life itself, is both trial and grace. And though the ways of courtship have changed — from letters to screens, from glances across the marketplace to profiles across the internet — the heart’s journey remains eternal. Seek wisely, return gently, and above all, never lose your humor. For it is laughter, that divine spark, which reminds us that even amid the wild confusion of love, joy will always find its way home.