I always felt that, for me, as a woman, I always had to wait

When Whitney Wolfe Herd declared, “I always felt that, for me, as a woman, I always had to wait around. In all other arenas, I was ambitious and a go-getter, but when it came to dating, I wasn't supposed to go after what I wanted,” she spoke with the voice of countless women who have wrestled with the invisible chains of expectation. Her words carry both the ache of restraint and the spark of rebellion. Beneath their calm tone lies a quiet revolution — the awakening of a soul that refuses to be bound by old scripts. The meaning of her statement stretches far beyond romance; it touches the very heart of freedom, agency, and the right to desire boldly.

In the world she describes, a woman’s spirit is split in two. In her career, she is urged to rise, to compete, to conquer — to be ambitious and unafraid. Yet in matters of love, that same fire is deemed unfeminine, her pursuit of happiness mistaken for aggression. Thus, she is told to wait: wait to be chosen, wait to be seen, wait to be given what she is capable of seeking herself. This waiting becomes a spiritual paralysis — a contradiction that dulls the soul. Whitney Wolfe Herd’s words arise from the pain of this contradiction, but also from the triumph of breaking it. In refusing to wait, she reclaimed not just love, but autonomy.

The ancients too spoke of such contradictions. In the myths of Greece, Atalanta, the swift-footed huntress, was told that no man would love a woman who could outrun him. So the gods decreed a race: she would marry only the one who could defeat her. Yet even in her defeat, her independence burned like a flame — a symbol of womanhood both powerful and punished. Whitney’s modern struggle is but an echo of that ancient tale: society still demands that women soften their stride in love, even as it praises their speed in all else. But like Atalanta, she refused to slow. Instead, she founded Bumble, a creation born not of rebellion alone, but of wisdom — that love, too, should be a space of equality and choice.

In this way, Wolfe Herd’s quote marks the beginning of a paradigm shift — a rewriting of human custom. Where once women were taught to decorate the room while waiting for the knock upon the door, now they build the house, open the gate, and step out into the world. Her confession — that she was “a go-getter in all other arenas” yet hesitant in dating — reveals how deeply cultural narratives are woven into the self. It takes courage not just to defy them, but to recognize their existence. Like the philosophers of old who urged humankind to question tradition, Wolfe Herd reminds us that liberation begins not in revolt, but in awareness.

And yet, there is tenderness in her realization. She does not scorn the past, but learns from it. The waiting woman, though patient and dignified, was taught that initiative was immodest — that pursuit equaled desperation. Wolfe Herd’s vision restores balance: that one may be graceful and assertive, patient yet proactive, tender yet powerful. The ancients would have called this sophrosyne — the harmony of self, the marriage of strength and serenity. To “go after what you want” is not to abandon dignity; it is to honor one’s humanity.

The story of Queen Esther from the scriptures offers another mirror to this truth. Though she lived in a time when women’s fates were bound to the will of men, Esther dared to speak, to act, and to intervene for her people. She did not wait to be summoned by destiny; she stepped into it. So too must every person, especially every woman, recognize that love — like life — rewards the brave. Waiting has its place in wisdom, but waiting without purpose is surrender.

From Whitney Wolfe Herd’s reflection flows a clear and vital lesson: never let custom define your courage. Whether in love, in work, or in creation, do not silence your instincts in order to fit another’s image of grace. The universe was not made for the passive; it blooms for those who move toward it. Pursue what sets your heart alight — for pursuit itself is sacred. To “go after what you want” is not arrogance; it is the purest form of honesty with oneself.

And so, let her words echo in the chambers of time as a call to all who hesitate before the door of desire: do not wait to be chosen. Choose. Step forward with grace, but also with fire. For ambition in love is no less noble than ambition in art or labor — it is the courage to claim the life you were meant to live. In the spirit of the ancients, let this truth be carved into the tablet of your soul: the heart, like the mind, was made to act — not to wait.