Everyone in the dating business wants to know what women want -

In the bold and visionary words of Whitney Wolfe Herd, we hear the voice of a new age — one that reclaims the wisdom long buried beneath centuries of imbalance: “Everyone in the dating business wants to know what women want — it’s the billion-dollar question. But it’s simple: put one in charge, and you find out.” This statement, though born in the modern world of technology and enterprise, carries the weight of ancient truth. For it speaks not only of dating, nor of business, but of power, perspective, and justice — of the eternal truth that one cannot understand those whose voices are silenced, nor meet their needs while denying them the power to define their own destiny.

Whitney Wolfe Herd, founder of Bumble, uttered these words in a time when the digital age had turned romance into a marketplace — an endless scroll of choices driven by algorithms designed by men. For years, the creators of these platforms speculated endlessly about “what women want,” yet rarely did they ask women themselves, nor invite them to shape the rules. Wolfe Herd’s genius was not merely technological, but philosophical: she realized that empowerment, not speculation, was the key. In her company, she did what the ancients might have called an act of justice — she reversed the order of things, giving women the first move, the right to decide who may speak, and when. By doing so, she revealed what generations of power structures had obscured: that to understand the oppressed, one must first grant them agency.

Her quote speaks, then, to a truth as old as civilization itself — that those in power often claim to know what is best for others, yet their ignorance is sustained by their control. “Put one in charge, and you find out,” she says — meaning: give women, or any silenced group, the reins of authority, and you will learn more in a single day of their leadership than in a thousand years of paternal speculation. It is a truth that has echoed through the ages. When Cleopatra ruled Egypt, she did not seek merely to adorn her throne, but to secure her nation’s sovereignty in a world of empires led by men. When Elizabeth I rose to power in England, she faced those who doubted her capacity to rule — and yet under her reign, her nation flourished in art, exploration, and diplomacy. History proves what Wolfe Herd declares: that when women lead, the world discovers what it had long refused to see — the power of balance, intuition, and renewal.

In the world of love and relationships — the very realm that Wolfe Herd revolutionized — her words take on even deeper meaning. For centuries, the story of romance has been written through a masculine lens: the man as pursuer, the woman as pursued. Even in the myths of old, from Zeus and Hera to Paris and Helen, desire was often depicted as conquest rather than communion. But Wolfe Herd’s vision shattered that old structure. By giving women the first word in connection, she restored choice to those who had been reduced to symbols. Her innovation was not merely technological; it was moral. She showed that equality in love — as in all things — begins with autonomy. To put women “in charge” is not to reverse domination, but to restore harmony, so that the dance of affection becomes mutual and free.

The ancients, too, understood this law of balance, though few lived by it. In the stories of Ariadne and Theseus, it was the woman’s wisdom that saved the hero from the labyrinth. Yet her power was forgotten once the danger had passed. So it has ever been: the world celebrates the fruit of women’s strength, yet denies them the throne of decision. Wolfe Herd’s words call humanity to repentance — to remember that the fullness of truth can never be found in half a voice. A society that listens only to one gender, one class, one race, or one creed, listens not to wisdom, but to its own echo.

From her insight we learn a lesson that transcends both gender and industry: leadership must be shared, for understanding is born of participation. To ask endlessly “what women want” — or what any group wants — while refusing them power is an act of hypocrisy. The only honest way to know is to entrust, to empower, to listen. In love, this means giving each partner equal voice; in work, it means creating spaces where every vision can rise; in society, it means building systems that reflect the dignity of all souls. Wolfe Herd’s “simple” answer is in truth a profound law of creation: that truth is revealed only through equality.

So, let her words echo as both wisdom and challenge: put one in charge — not as an experiment, but as a restoration of balance long overdue. Give those silenced by history the pen to write the next chapter. In your own life, wherever you lead, seek not to speak for others, but to invite them to speak for themselves. For in doing so, you will not only find what they want — you will discover what humanity truly needs: the harmony that comes when every voice, at last, is heard.

Thus, Whitney Wolfe Herd’s insight stands among the teachings of the ancients reborn: that justice is not speculation, but participation; that power, when shared, becomes wisdom; and that only when women rise as equals — in love, in labor, and in leadership — will the world know itself whole again.