When you're setting up your dating profile, choose the photos

In the words of Whitney Wolfe Herd, the founder of Bumble and a herald of modern connection, we hear not a simple piece of dating advice, but a lesson in authenticity and self-awareness: “When you're setting up your dating profile, choose the photos according to who you are today. A variety of recent shots that are a true representation of your character.” Though her words belong to the age of technology and glowing screens, their spirit descends from the oldest wisdom known to humankind — to know thyself, and to be known truthfully by others. For what she speaks of is not merely the choosing of images, but the sacred act of self-presentation — the harmony between appearance and essence, between how we are seen and who we truly are.

In ancient times, this harmony was regarded as a mark of virtue. The philosopher Socrates warned that deceit — even the subtle deceit of image — estranges the soul from its truth. To appear as something you are not, he said, is to live divided, and a divided self cannot love nor be loved wholly. Wolfe Herd’s modern counsel carries this same message: when you present yourself to the world, whether through words or pictures, do not offer a ghost of who you once were, nor a fantasy of who you wish to be. Offer the present self, the one who breathes now, who has walked through storms and found new light. For only truth, seen clearly, can kindle a real connection.

In the age of ancient portraiture, a sculptor or painter would strive not merely to capture the features of their subject, but their spirit. The statue of Pericles was not admired only for its form, but for the quiet dignity the artist carved into stone. It was said that Phidias, when asked how he achieved such life in marble, replied that he sculpted not what he saw, but what he felt to be true. This is the same artistry Wolfe Herd calls for in our digital self-portraits: that we do not craft perfection, but honesty. That our images reflect not what pleases others, but what reveals the self — the laughter, the imperfection, the realness that breathes through stillness.

Her words also speak to a deeper struggle of the human heart — the fear of not being enough as we are. Many, in setting forth their image to the world, reach backward to a time when they felt more beautiful, more desirable, more whole. But Wolfe Herd, with the quiet firmness of wisdom, reminds us that who we are today — not yesterday, not some imagined ideal — is where our truth resides. To reject the present self is to turn away from life itself. The ancients would have called this the sin of self-forgetting — the refusal to honor the soul’s growth through time. For every wrinkle, every change, every scar is a verse in the story of becoming.

Consider the tale of Helen of Troy, whose beauty was said to have launched a thousand ships. Yet what made her legend endure was not her face, but her presence — the aura of truth and self-knowledge that made men and women alike feel the power of her being. Helen was beautiful not because she was flawless, but because she was undeniably herself. The lesson of Helen, reborn through Wolfe Herd’s words, is that our worth does not lie in perfection but in authentic expression. The truest form of attraction begins where the mask ends.

And so, from these words, we learn a greater truth: that authenticity is the foundation of connection. To present yourself falsely may win brief admiration, but it will never birth lasting love. To be real — to stand before the world as you are, in light and shadow — is the only path to being truly seen. The wise of every age have known this: what is genuine endures, what is false crumbles. And in the realm of love, as in life, truth is the only beauty that does not fade.

Therefore, let this be the counsel for those who walk the modern path of love: when you show yourself to others — whether through image, word, or deed — do so with courage and honesty. Honor who you are today. Celebrate the growth that time has brought you. Do not fear the gaze of others; fear only the loss of your own integrity. For as Whitney Wolfe Herd teaches, the truest connection begins not with allure, but with authenticity. When you reveal your real self to the world, you invite not just love, but recognition — the kind that does not end when the screen fades, but endures in the quiet knowing of two souls who have met without disguise.