I didn't marry to have children. I married to have a

Carmen Dell’Orefice spoke with the voice of one who has walked long upon the path of life: “I didn’t marry to have children. I married to have a relationship, and I was blessed with one child. I was an only child, too—my mother was smarter than most women today; she just had me.” In these words lies a wisdom often obscured by custom. She declares that marriage is not merely a vessel for bearing offspring, but a covenant of souls, a union of hearts, and a companionship of spirit. Children may be blessings upon that bond, but they are not its foundation. The ancients themselves whispered such truth, that love precedes lineage, and that without union of spirit, even the strongest house crumbles.

Her remembrance of her mother, who chose to have but one child, reflects not weakness, but clarity of purpose. The decision to bring forth life is sacred, and to choose sparingly is not folly but foresight. Thus she honors her mother’s wisdom, contrasting it against the restless expectation that a woman’s worth lies in the number of lives she bears. In speaking thus, she defends the dignity of those who measure life not by many branches, but by the strength of a single root.

History tells us of Marcus Aurelius, emperor and philosopher, who though surrounded by the duty of empire, cherished most the closeness of a few trusted bonds. His writings in the Meditations did not dwell upon the multitude of heirs or soldiers under his command, but upon the virtue of living rightly with those closest to him. He, too, knew that life’s greatness is not found in endless numbers, but in the quality of relationships. Carmen’s words carry this same eternal echo: it is better to build one true union, to raise one child in love, than to multiply without depth.

This teaching is also defiant, a shield against the voices of society that demand women prove themselves by measure of womb or lineage. In declaring she did not marry for children but for relationship, Dell’Orefice lifts the veil of expectation and places the power back into the hands of the heart. She asserts that love itself is enough, that companionship can be its own destiny, and that blessings may come in forms both great and small.

Let this truth be remembered by future generations: do not bind yourselves to the chains of what others demand of you. Marriage is a sacred weaving of two lives, not a contract of numbers. Motherhood is a gift, not an obligation. And the worth of a life is not measured by its branches, but by the strength of its trunk and the richness of its fruit. Carmen’s words, like the voices of the ancients, remind us that the highest wisdom is to live by choice, not by compulsion, and to honor the relationships that give life its deepest meaning.