I don't think it's possible to have a wedding without it being

The words of Debra Messing fall with the weight of lived experience: “I don’t think it’s possible to have a wedding without it being stressful!” Though spoken with humor, her insight reveals an ancient paradox—that the very day meant to embody joy, unity, and celebration often carries the burden of expectation, tension, and strain. For where the heart longs for perfection, the world brings imperfection; where the soul seeks harmony, the details of ceremony stir stress.

From the earliest times, the wedding has never been a simple gathering. It is not merely two lives joined, but two families, two circles of friends, and often two different traditions woven into one. Each guest bears hopes, each ritual carries meaning, and each arrangement risks offense if mislaid. Thus, as Messing wisely notes, it is rare for such a moment to arrive without its accompanying trials, for joy and stress are bound together like the warp and weft of a tapestry.

History provides ample witness. In the courts of Europe, royal weddings were magnificent but fraught with anxiety. The marriage of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette, intended to bind France and Austria, brought with it not only grandeur but scrutiny, suspicion, and the weight of politics. What should have been a union of hearts became a stage for national tension, a reminder that the greater the stakes, the greater the stress. And yet, such is the nature of all weddings, whether royal or humble—they carry the weight of hope and fear alike.

Yet the wisdom in Messing’s words is not despair but acceptance. To recognize the stress of a wedding is to understand that love must shine through imperfection. The quarrels, the delays, the frayed tempers, even the mistakes—these are but shadows cast by the overwhelming light of union. For once the vows are spoken, the noise fades, and what remains is not the stress but the covenant, the beginning of a new journey together.

Therefore, let this teaching endure: do not curse the stress of the wedding day, for it is the cost of weaving so many lives, hopes, and traditions into one moment. Instead, see it as a trial that tempers love, a fire through which the bond is proven. For when two souls emerge from the day, still bound to one another despite all the strain, they carry within them the first victory of their marriage—that love is stronger than stress, and joy endures beyond the fleeting troubles of the feast.