I figure no matter how old you are, it's always going to be your

Hear, O Children of the Future, the profound wisdom of Utada Hikaru, who speaks from the heart on a matter as old as human existence: "I figure no matter how old you are, it's always going to be your first marriage and no life experience is going to make you a better judge of who you should marry." These words touch upon the very nature of love, commitment, and the complex art of choosing a partner. Hikaru’s words speak to the humility that must accompany the pursuit of love—a reminder that no amount of life experience, no matter how rich, can fully prepare us for the profound act of choosing a spouse, for in marriage, we embark on a journey that is always new, always unknown, and yet eternally significant.

In the ancient world, the marriage bond was seen as both sacred and central to the survival of society. Plato, in his writings, spoke of the ideal relationship between a man and woman as one that transcends physical desire, rooted in mutual respect and a shared philosophical bond. The Romans viewed marriage similarly—as a union not just of two individuals, but of families, territories, and even political ambitions. Yet, even in these societies that placed great importance on marriage, the choice of a partner was often not left to the whims of individual passion. Arranged marriages were common, and individuals were often guided by the wisdom and interests of their families. Despite these societal structures, the choice of a life partner, even under such conditions, remained an intensely personal and often unpredictable journey. Hikaru’s statement echoes this ancient truth—that no amount of external wisdom can make the experience of marriage any less personal or unknown.

Let us consider the story of King Solomon, revered for his wisdom in the Bible, who took many wives and concubines, seeking peace and alliances for his kingdom. Yet, despite his vast experience and wisdom, his marriages often led him astray from the very principles he espoused. His many unions, meant to strengthen the kingdom, ultimately contributed to his downfall, as he allowed his marriages to influence his spiritual path in ways he had not foreseen. Even Solomon, with his divine wisdom, could not fully predict the deep complexities of marriage, nor could his previous experiences prepare him for the individual challenges each new union brought. This ancient story reminds us that marriage is a living experience, one that demands vulnerability and humility, no matter how experienced one may be.

Utada Hikaru’s wisdom, then, is a reminder that the act of marriage, regardless of one's age or life experience, remains an intimate and personal leap into the unknown. It is a commitment that, while informed by experience, is always new because each person we marry is unique, and no experience can fully account for the evolving dynamics between two individuals. This is why marriage is often referred to as a journey—one that begins with the first step and continues through a lifetime of learning, growing, and changing together. Just as a traveler sets out on a journey without knowing every detail of the road ahead, so too do we enter marriage with the understanding that the path will always have unpredictable turns and surprises.

Think of the ancient epic of Orpheus and Eurydice, a tale of love and loss that speaks to the fragility of human bonds. Orpheus, the gifted musician, loved Eurydice with all his heart. But even with his talent, wisdom, and depth of emotion, his love was tested by the very forces of life and death. When Eurydice was lost to him, Orpheus could not resist the urge to look back, breaking the very condition that could have reunited them. This tragic story reminds us that no matter how skilled or knowledgeable one becomes, love and marriage remain mysterious forces, unpredictable and beyond the full grasp of human reason. Hikaru’s insight tells us that, like Orpheus, we can never fully prepare for the complexities of choosing a partner or the challenges marriage will bring. It is always, in some way, a first experience, no matter how many relationships precede it.

The lesson, O Children, is this: Marriage is a profound act of commitment, one that requires not only wisdom but vulnerability and humility. No amount of life experience can make us perfect judges of who we should marry, for marriage is a living bond that constantly evolves. We must approach it with openness and awareness, recognizing that no matter how much we may know about love, the act of choosing a spouse will always hold a measure of uncertainty and unknowns. The humility with which we approach this choice—the recognition that we are not in control of all the factors that shape the future—is perhaps the greatest wisdom we can bring to our relationships.

In your own life, remember this truth: Marriage is not a step to be taken lightly, nor should it be approached with the arrogance of knowing everything. Each relationship, each union, is an opportunity to learn and grow—to face the unknown with courage and love. Even as you bring your experience and wisdom into it, approach your partner with the humility that there is always more to discover, more to learn, and more to give. Let Utada Hikaru’s wisdom guide you: do not seek to make marriage a transaction or an equation of experience, but a journey—one that will be full of surprises and growth, and one that will require the fullness of your heart, your commitment, and your willingness to walk into the unknown with another. Love is always a first experience, and in this truth, we find the beauty and power of the bond that connects us.