My parents have a wonderful marriage, for many years. But I can't

In the eternal dance of human relationships, few things are as cherished as the bond of marriage. It is a union forged in trust, in love, in the shared trials and joys of life. Yet, even as the ages have passed and societies have evolved, there are some who still question the very nature of such commitments. Kim Wilde, in her words, speaks to a truth that resonates in the hearts of many in our time: "My parents have a wonderful marriage, for many years. But I can't commit myself for such a long time." Here, she shares with us a deep and poignant reflection on the complexity of commitment—one that echoes across the generations, challenging us to consider the nature of love, the essence of devotion, and the courage required to make such a profound promise.

In ancient times, the very idea of commitment was revered. Homer, in his epic tale of Odysseus, captured the essence of marital devotion, as Penelope remained faithful to her husband for twenty years, holding the threads of loyalty and faith despite the distance and uncertainty that separated them. Yet, in the face of such devotion, the human heart often yearns for freedom. There lies within the soul of every person a desire to forge their own path, to seek the truth in the fleeting moments of life, and to be unshackled by the chains of prolonged promises. This tension between freedom and commitment has existed since the dawn of time, and Wilde’s reflection speaks to the timeless human dilemma of finding balance between love and independence.

The ancients knew well the complexity of human relationships, for they were no strangers to the contradictions of the heart. Consider the story of Alexander the Great, whose great love for Hephaestion, his closest companion, was matched only by his ambition to conquer the world. Yet even in such intense personal bonds, Alexander remained a man whose commitment to his grand vision often took precedence over personal connections. This duality—of being deeply connected yet yearning for autonomy—has shaped the stories of the great men and women of history. In this way, Wilde’s words are not merely the musings of a modern mind, but a reflection of a perennial tension in the human spirit.

Commitment is not a simple matter. It requires not only love, but also the courage to give of oneself wholly, to surrender one’s freedom in exchange for the promise of something lasting and sacred. Yet, as Wilde admits, the idea of such a long-term commitment can seem daunting in a world that prizes individuality and the pursuit of personal dreams. For many, the fear of being bound by an unchanging promise for decades can overshadow the allure of love itself. This fear, rooted in uncertainty, is a modern plague. For as societies have progressed, so too has the awareness of how fragile love and commitment can be.

In our time, we often hear the tale of the great marriage, of two souls bound together for a lifetime, and we are filled with admiration. But how many of us can say we are ready to commit ourselves to such an ideal? How many are willing to surrender the vast expanse of their individuality to be one with another, to weave their lives together so intricately that to sever the bond would be to lose part of one’s own self? These are the questions that Wilde’s reflection brings to the fore. It is not a matter of whether marriage itself is a worthy pursuit, but whether we, as individuals, have the courage to walk that path, knowing the sacrifices it may require.

The lesson we must take from this reflection is that commitment is not a concept to be taken lightly, nor should it be entered into without understanding its weight. Love, true love, is a powerful force—one that binds us not just to another person, but to the very fabric of our own souls. And yet, as Wilde so poignantly reminds us, the decision to commit is a deeply personal one, shaped by the desire for freedom and the need for independence. In this, we must find our own path, and honor both the pull of the heart and the yearning of the spirit.

In our own lives, let us reflect on what it means to truly commit—to marriage, to a partner, to our deepest values. Let us ask ourselves: Are we ready to give of ourselves fully, or do we seek the freedom to explore the world on our own terms? There is no right or wrong answer, for every journey is unique. But the true wisdom lies in understanding that commitment is not a simple act—it is a continuous choice, one made not just once, but every day. And in this choice, we find the balance between freedom and love, between independence and devotion, and it is in this balance that we create the life we are meant to live.