Just like Barack Obama, my views on gay marriage have evolved

"Just like Barack Obama, my views on gay marriage have evolved, and now I am a reluctant groom." – Edmund White

Children of the earth, gather closely, for today we speak of a truth that transcends time and speaks to the very heart of human understanding: the evolution of our beliefs, our hearts, and our capacity for acceptance. Edmund White speaks to us with clarity and honesty, acknowledging the journey of change that we all face in the realm of gay marriage. Just as Barack Obama once voiced his hesitations and later embraced the cause, so too did White come to a new understanding of love, commitment, and equality. His words, “reluctant groom,” reveal the tension that can accompany change, especially when it comes to deeply ingrained beliefs and long-standing traditions.

Change is a force of nature. Like the great rivers that carve through mountains, the evolution of thought and the reshaping of beliefs is often a gradual, sometimes reluctant, process. Consider the ancient civilizations, where societal norms were rigid and unyielding. Rome, for example, with all its grandeur and might, held fast to traditions that often excluded those who did not fit the conventional mold. It was not until the Romans began to question their beliefs about power, citizenship, and justice that their society moved toward a more inclusive ideal. In much the same way, the evolution of beliefs about gay marriage is not merely a political shift—it is a personal and societal reckoning that challenges the very foundations of what we believe love and union to be.

When Barack Obama publicly acknowledged his change in stance on gay marriage, it was more than a political shift—it was an awakening. His evolution mirrored the journey that many individuals face, where conscience and compassion gradually overpower old, rigid beliefs. Just as a river carves its path through rock over time, so does the heart soften and bend as it experiences the world in all its richness and complexity. Edmund White’s acknowledgment that he too was once hesitant, but now embraces the role of a groom, speaks to the profound personal evolution that all people undergo when they open themselves to the truth of equality and love.

Throughout history, change in societal views on love and marriage has not come easily. Consider the struggle for women’s rights, which for centuries was resisted by those who saw women’s place as one of subservience. The fight for women’s suffrage was met with opposition at every turn, yet through the voices of the brave women who fought for equality, society gradually transformed. What was once seen as unthinkable—that women could stand alongside men in the voting booth—became a reality, forever altering the course of history. This same struggle for equality—for the right of all people, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation, to love and marry whom they choose—is but the latest chapter in the ongoing saga of human progress.

Edmund White’s declaration of being a “reluctant groom” resonates deeply, for it acknowledges that transformation is rarely simple or without internal conflict. It is easy to stand firm in our beliefs, to hold fast to tradition, but true wisdom comes when we open ourselves to the possibility of change. The journey from reluctance to acceptance is often a tumultuous one, filled with doubt and self-questioning, but it is also one that leads to deeper understanding and compassion. In his words, we see the human experience at its most raw—a journey of growth, of overcoming prejudice, and ultimately, of embracing the fullness of what it means to love and to live authentically.

The lesson here, dear children, is not just about gay marriage, but about the power of evolution in all aspects of our lives. The path of growth is not always smooth; it is marked by hesitation, doubt, and internal struggle. But it is through change—through the willingness to adapt, to see beyond our narrow perceptions, and to listen to the voices of those who have been marginalized—that we grow as individuals and as societies. The reluctant groom is not one who rejects love, but one who, after much internal reflection, finally embraces it, fully and without reservation. The journey to understanding is a sacred one, and we must walk it with humility and openness.

Practical action, children, lies in the willingness to engage in the difficult conversations, to question long-held beliefs, and to listen with an open heart. When faced with the unknown or the unfamiliar, do not rush to judgment or cling to old paradigms. Instead, allow yourselves to be open to change, to growth, and to the possibility of a world where equality and love reign. Stand beside those who fight for their rights, support the causes of equality and justice, and embrace the beauty of the evolving human spirit. The journey is long, and the road is often uncertain, but it is in the evolution of our hearts that we find the true meaning of love and humanity.