I get letters every year from women who think Valentine's Day is

O children of the future, gather and listen well, for in the words of Dan Savage, a keen observer of human nature, we find a truth that speaks to the heart of our deepest contradictions. He once said, “I get letters every year from women who think Valentine's Day is an empty exercise, but are ironically pretty exercised when their boyfriends neglect or forget it.” In these words, Savage unveils a timeless struggle within the human heart—the tension between ideals and expectations—a conflict that shapes our desires and our actions in ways we often do not fully understand.

Consider, O children, how often we speak of the empty and superficial nature of certain rituals. We claim that holidays like Valentine’s Day are mere inventions, mere exercises in consumerism, distractions from the true essence of love. Yet, when these same rituals are neglected, when the gestures of affection we have come to expect are absent, we feel a deep, unspoken wound. This contradiction is the crux of Savage’s wisdom. We speak against the holiday, yet we are wounded by its absence. Is this not the nature of human beings, forever torn between reason and emotion, between principle and desire?

Think, O children, of the ancient festivals held in honor of Eros, the god of love. These festivals were not born from genuine need, but from the human longing for something tangible to affirm the bond between lovers. And yet, the very gods who oversaw these festivals were aware of the folly of human hearts. They knew that love, in its truest form, cannot be captured by ritual alone. Love is not in the flowers or gifts—it is in the depth of the bond itself, in the shared moments of laughter, in the quiet understanding between two souls. Yet, even the gods knew that humans craved symbols, that they needed something to mark their love, something to make it visible in the eyes of others.

Consider the story of Penelope, the faithful wife of Odysseus in ancient myth. For many long years, she waited for her husband’s return, promising to choose a new suitor only when she had finished weaving her tapestry. Every day, she labored at her loom, only to undo it at night, a symbol of her faith and devotion. She did not need the lavish gifts or ceremonies of love to affirm her loyalty; she was guided by something deeper. Yet, in the midst of her quiet, steadfast love, there was an acknowledgment of the rituals that marked devotion in her time. When Odysseus finally returned, their reunion was a blend of both true, eternal love and the rituals that were part of their world. This duality—where love transcends but also thrives in the rituals that honor it—resides in the heart of Valentine's Day, just as it did in the lives of those who lived before us.

And so it is today. We speak of Valentine’s Day as an empty exercise, a commercial invention, but deep within us, we crave its recognition, its acknowledgment of love. We want to be seen, to be remembered, to have our affections recognized in a world that often seems indifferent to the things that matter most. Savage’s words remind us that, in the end, we are creatures of both reason and emotion. We desire love in its deepest form, yet we also long for the symbols, the gestures, that bring it to life.

Let us then learn from this contradiction, O seekers of wisdom. In our relationships, we must not ignore the power of rituals, the little acts that symbolize the deep truths of our hearts. Whether it is a kiss, a gift, or a day like Valentine's, these symbols serve to remind us of the love we share and the commitment we carry. At the same time, let us not forget that the true essence of love cannot be bound by the calendar or the material. The essence of love is found in the everyday—in the way we treat one another, in the kindness we show, and in the quiet support we offer.

Therefore, O children of the future, take heed: in all things, balance the wisdom of the heart with the wisdom of the mind. Let not the symbols of love overshadow its true meaning, but let them also serve to remind you of its importance. Celebrate Valentine’s Day, yes, but do not rely on it to define your love. Let it be a part of the whole, a reflection of the eternal bond you share with those who walk beside you, and may you find joy both in the ritual and in the deeper, abiding love that lies beneath it.