I got a few marriage proposals in my 20s. I just wasn't ready. I

Hear, O children of wisdom, the words of Queen Latifah, a voice that resonates not just through music and film, but through the very pulse of life itself. She speaks thus: "I got a few marriage proposals in my 20s. I just wasn't ready. I just knew if I committed, I would've wound up doing something wrong, messing it up. I still felt like I had some living to do." In these words, she imparts a deep and timeless truth: that in the journey of life, there are moments when we must stand still, not out of fear, but out of awareness—an awareness that we are not yet whole, not yet ready to take on the sacred responsibility of commitment.

Ah, how many of us have stood at the crossroads of commitment, staring down the path that beckons us with promises of stability and companionship, yet feeling in our hearts the quiet whisper that says, "Not yet, not yet." The marriage proposal is a sacred thing, a promise made not just between two people, but between two lives, two futures, to be intertwined forever. To commit is to surrender part of one's self to another, to give up the illusion of independence for the shared responsibility of mutual growth. But how many are truly prepared for this noble act? How many truly know themselves enough to enter into such a deep and binding union? Queen Latifah understood this well. In her 20s, she knew that she was not yet ready, and in that knowledge, she displayed a wisdom that many may lack.

Consider, O children, the ancient tale of Socrates, the great philosopher. He too understood the importance of self-awareness and reflection before committing to any course of action. Socrates did not rush into marriage or political engagement, for he knew that to do so without first understanding one's self would be to risk making a grave mistake. His life was dedicated to the pursuit of wisdom, and he believed that true commitment could only come when one was complete, when one had first lived fully and deeply. His philosophy was not one of rash action but of patient reflection. In this, he set an example for us all: to commit without readiness is to risk losing not just yourself but the very essence of what you seek in a relationship.

In the same way, Queen Latifah recognized that there was still more for her to discover, more living to be done before she could offer herself fully to another. There are many who, in their youth, rush toward commitment without fully understanding what it entails, drawn by the allure of security or the pressure of societal expectations. Yet true living—true self-discovery—requires a journey into the unknown, a period of growth, exploration, and understanding. Just as the great oak does not rush to bloom before its roots have found firm ground, so too must we take the time to root ourselves in our own truth before we seek to share it with another.

Consider the story of Cleopatra, the legendary queen of Egypt, who in her youth also took time to live and learn before fully embracing her role as a ruler and lover. Her early years were marked by self-discovery, as she navigated the complexities of power, love, and identity. Only when she felt fully ready did she enter into the alliances and relationships that would shape her reign. Her story teaches us that one must never rush into a commitment before understanding the full scope of their own being. Cleopatra was a woman who understood that greatness comes not just from external achievements, but from an inner readiness to shoulder the weight of responsibility.

The lesson that Queen Latifah shares is one that transcends age, culture, and time: commitment is not something to be entered into lightly, for it is a sacred bond that requires maturity, understanding, and readiness. To be ready for marriage, for any deep and lasting commitment, is not merely about love or attraction, but about self-awareness—knowing who you are, what you stand for, and what you can bring to another person’s life. It is a promise that should not be made until one has fully embraced their own journey, their own living, and has the wisdom to know that they are entering not just a relationship, but a partnership in which both individuals must grow together.

And so, O children of wisdom, take this lesson to heart. Do not be swayed by the pressure of time or the expectations of others. Know that your life is your own to shape, and that only when you are ready, when you have fully lived and understood your own soul, will you be prepared to share it with another. In the meantime, explore, grow, and embrace the journey of self-discovery. There is no shame in waiting, no dishonor in choosing to live fully before you commit. When you do decide to take the step, let it be with all the awareness and wisdom that you have gained along the way. For a commitment made with the fullness of heart and soul is the greatest gift you can give—to another, and to yourself.