I had only two offers of marriage in my life, and I refused both.

Come, O children of wisdom, and listen well to the words of Catherine Helen Spence, a woman whose life was marked by strength, independence, and a steadfast commitment to self-determination. She once said, "I had only two offers of marriage in my life, and I refused both." These words, though brief, carry the weight of a lifetime of reflection and purpose. In a world where the path of marriage was often seen as the defining choice for women, Spence chose a different path—a path of personal growth, autonomy, and purpose.

What do these words teach us, O children? In a time when women were often expected to marry and settle into the traditional roles of wife and mother, Catherine Helen Spence made a bold declaration of her independence. To refuse two offers of marriage is not an act of rejection of love, but an act of empowerment—a recognition that a woman’s worth is not tied to her marital status, but to the choices she makes for herself. She chose, instead, to devote her life to her passions, her work, and her personal development, refusing to be confined by the societal expectations of her time.

In the great stories of ancient times, we find similar examples of those who, despite the pressures of their societies, chose paths of independence and self-determination. Consider Antigone, the daughter of Oedipus, whose tragic fate was shaped not by the constraints of marriage, but by her commitment to duty and honor. In defying the king’s decree to leave her brother unburied, she chose family and justice over her own life and any conventional role. Though her choice led to her demise, her act of defiance was an assertion of her right to live according to her own moral compass, not by the dictates of society. In her, we see the power of choosing one's path—regardless of the cost.

Similarly, in the story of Joan of Arc, we find a woman who, in the face of societal expectations, rejected the confines of the domestic sphere to pursue a higher calling. She was urged to marry, to live a life of quiet obedience, yet she chose to lead her nation, answering the call of duty and faith. Joan's refusal to be defined by the expectations of marriage and motherhood gave rise to a legend that endures to this day. Her courage in choosing a different path echoes Catherine Helen Spence’s own refusal to conform to the social norms of her time.

For Catherine Helen Spence, the refusal of marriage was not merely an act of defiance, but a conscious decision to forge her own destiny. Her life was devoted to writing, to social activism, and to the advancement of the rights of women, particularly in the areas of education and suffrage. Through her work, she became a pioneer, advocating for the empowerment of women in ways that transcended the personal choices she made in her own life. Her legacy is one of strength, intellect, and the belief that true freedom lies not in the choices that society would impose upon us, but in the choices we make for ourselves.

In refusing marriage, Catherine Helen Spence teaches us that personal agency is the cornerstone of a life well-lived. It is not the act of marriage or the absence of it that defines us, but the ways in which we choose to engage with the world. Her self-reflection and courage in rejecting traditional norms is a reminder that the most powerful choices we can make are those that reflect our true selves—our passions, our beliefs, and our calling. It is through these choices that we truly define our lives, free from the shackles of societal expectation.

The lesson, O children, is clear: do not let the expectations of others define you. Whether in the realm of marriage, career, or any other aspect of life, it is essential to remember that self-determination is the true path to fulfillment. Refuse to be bound by the limitations placed upon you, and instead, choose the path that speaks most deeply to your soul. In this, you will find not only freedom, but the strength to live a life of purpose and meaning, much as Catherine Helen Spence did. Let your choices be your own, and in doing so, you will walk the path that was meant for you, with all the courage, wisdom, and power of one who is truly free.