I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my

I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my

Rita Rudner
22/09/2025
22/09/2025

I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.

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I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my
Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner

American - Comedian Born: September 17, 1955

With the author

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'

Rita Rudner

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.

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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.

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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

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Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

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My ace in the hole as a human being used to be my capacity for remembering birthdays. I worked at it. Whenever I made a new friend, I made a point of finding out his or her birthday early on, and I would record it in my Filofax calendar.

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