I like very dry humor. I don't like things that are over the top.

In the grand landscape of humor, where exaggeration and overt performance often dominate, there exists a quieter, more profound form of comedy that speaks not through loud gestures or flamboyant antics but through subtlety and restraint. Emily Rios, in her reflection on what she appreciates in humor, says, "I like very dry humor. I don't like things that are over the top. I like subtlety. I like things that are nonchalant. I like characters that are sort of monotone and based in dark comedy." In these words, Rios reveals a deeper truth about the art of humor—the power of restraint and nuance. Unlike humor that seeks to captivate the senses with wild energy, this kind of humor works through suggestion, using the quiet to invoke meaning and the dark to elicit both laughter and introspection.

The ancients understood well the power of subtlety. The philosopher Socrates, known for his piercing intellect, did not rely on the loudness of his speech to convey his ideas but instead used gentle irony and quiet questioning to reveal deeper truths. Through subtle methods, he would draw out the assumptions of his interlocutors, leaving them to confront the contradictions within their own beliefs. In the same way, Rios celebrates a humor that does not shout its message but invites the audience into a space where they must discover meaning through observation and reflection. This style of humor is not about performance, but about presence—a stillness that speaks volumes without being overt.

Consider the wit of the great Greek playwright Aristophanes, who blended subtlety and dark humor in his works. Though his plays often dealt with the political and social issues of Athens, he used humor as a mirror, reflecting the contradictions of human nature with both sharpness and elegance. Aristophanes did not need to rely on exaggerated gestures to make his point. His humor, like Rios’s description, was dry and nuanced, allowing the audience to laugh not just at the absurdities of life but at the irony of their own existence. In this, we see the power of subtle humor—a humor that reveals, rather than shouts, and makes the audience reflect on their own assumptions.

In contrast, the over-the-top humor that Rios rejects often distracts us from deeper engagement with the truth. The exaggerated performances of comedians in ancient Rome, such as those in the Atellan Farce, were meant to entertain but often did little to challenge or provoke the audience. While Rios appreciates the dry, monotone humor, she highlights the necessity of subtlety in comedy, recognizing that when humor becomes too loud or too extravagant, it risks losing its meaning. It becomes a spectacle rather than an exploration of the human condition. Just as Rios rejects the over-the-top, Socrates too sought the quiet method of the dialectic, where meaning was uncovered not through dramatic gestures but through careful conversation.

The wisdom here is profound: in a world often filled with noise, it is the quiet humor that speaks the loudest. In the same way that Socrates or Aristophanes used humor to explore the complexities of society, so too does Rios find meaning in humor that doesn’t need to scream for attention. The power of dry humor lies in its restraint, its monotony, and its ability to make the audience think without forcing them to confront the joke. This approach allows for the darkness of life to be explored with dignity, creating space for both reflection and laughter.

The lesson we can take from Rios’s words is one of mindfulness. In life, as in humor, it is not always the loudest voices or the most extravagant gestures that carry the most weight. It is the quiet moments—the subtle exchanges, the stillness of understanding, and the humor that doesn’t ask for applause—that often reveal the deepest truths. As we engage with the world, whether in our relationships, our work, or our creative endeavors, let us strive to embrace the quiet, the understated, and the nonchalant. We must recognize that meaning can be found not in the extremes but in the subtleties, in the moments that ask us to pause and reflect.

Thus, let us seek to find humor in the small moments, the understated details of life, where the deepest truths often reside. Like Rios’s preferred style of humor, let us learn to embrace dryness, subtlety, and restraint in our own interactions. In doing so, we will find not only laughter but a deeper connection to the world around us, one that invites us to reflect and understand without the need for exaggeration or performance. Subtlety, like the quiet humor of Socrates or Aristophanes, teaches us that sometimes the most powerful messages are the ones that are left unsaid, only hinted at, and revealed through the calm and quiet of true insight.