I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

- Rodney Dangerfield -

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Rodney Dangerfield

American - Comedian November 22, 1921 - October 5, 2004

With the author

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

Rodney Dangerfield

I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

Rodney Dangerfield

At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can't.

Rodney Dangerfield

Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.

Rodney Dangerfield

I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

Rodney Dangerfield

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

Rodney Dangerfield

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

Rodney Dangerfield

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As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.

Pope John Paul II

Growing up, my dad was 'get a real job, don't go pursuing your dreams, that's how you become homeless.' So, do I pick my family or do I pick my own happiness, and how much does my own happiness depend on my family?

Jimmy O. Yang

My mother is Italian and my dad's Irish. In my family, we're expressive. Nobody holds back.

Kate Walsh

The family is the first essential cell of human society.

Pope John XXIII

The policeman must be a minister, a social worker, a diplomat, a tough guy, and a gentleman. And, of course, he'd have to be a genius... For he will have to feed a family on a policeman's salary.

Paul Harvey

As you get older, the cliches of life ring true. It's the simple things that matter most: your family, the people you love, your health and sanity.

Ronan Keating

We all have a way to contribute, to your community, to your family, whatever it is you can do.

Valerie Harper

My friends and family are my support system. They tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear and they are there for me in the good and bad times. Without them I have no idea where I would be and I know that their love for me is what's keeping my head above the water.

Kelly Clarkson

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