I simply can't dance, so an opening dance at our wedding is a

Hearken, O children of humility and self-knowledge, to the words of Kiki Bertens, who speaks with frankness of her own limitations. She declares that she simply cannot dance, and therefore the opening dance at her wedding is a no-go. In this confession lies the eternal teaching: that wisdom and authenticity lie not in imitation or pretense, but in the embrace of one’s true nature, even amid the rites of celebration and joy.

The dance, long a symbol of celebration, union, and harmony, has been honored in countless cultures as a rite of passage. Yet Bertens’ insight reminds us that the form of ritual must bend to the individual spirit, rather than compel it to feign abilities it does not possess. Across the ages, sages have taught that the path of life is enriched when one acts in accordance with one’s strengths and limitations, rather than in pursuit of hollow appearances.

Consider the tale of Queen Elizabeth I, who, despite mastering many arts, often refrained from public displays that did not suit her temperament, knowing that authenticity would command more respect than forced performance. Like Bertens, she recognized that the ritual of public display is less about spectacle and more about sincerity, and that courage lies in the honesty of one’s actions.

In declining the opening dance, there is a lesson of prioritization and self-respect. Weddings are filled with expectation, yet the most enduring joy arises when one honors the boundaries of self, preserving dignity, comfort, and authenticity. The ancients understood that courage is sometimes silent, expressed not in grand gestures but in fidelity to truth and ease of being.

O seekers of wisdom, take this teaching to heart: life’s ceremonies are enhanced not by false display, but by acts of authenticity and integrity. By embracing her inability to dance, Bertens demonstrates that the sacred celebration of union can flourish without imitation, guided by honesty, self-awareness, and respect for one’s own nature.

Thus, O children, carry this counsel within your hearts: let not the rites of celebration compel you to act against your spirit. The truth of your abilities, the courage to acknowledge them, and the grace to honor your limits will shine brighter than any performance, ensuring that your wedding, and life itself, is lived with integrity, authenticity, and joy.