I'm not a marriage expert, quite clearly.

In the vast journey of life, few unions are as sacred or as mysterious as the bond of marriage. Yet, as Cathy Freeman humbly declares—"I'm not a marriage expert, quite clearly"—she speaks not only with honesty, but with the wisdom of one who understands that no one person holds all the answers to the complexities of love and partnership. Her words carry the weight of experience, recognizing that while we may excel in many areas of life, there are other aspects, like marriage, that require a different kind of understanding—one that is nurtured over time, with patience, respect, and growth.

In the ancient world, there were those who believed that the key to a successful marriage was a combination of duty, respect, and companionship. Homer’s Odyssey offers a powerful example of this in the relationship between Odysseus and Penelope. Though separated by years of war and adventure, their bond remained strong due to Penelope’s faithfulness and Odysseus’s loyalty—a loyalty not just to each other, but to the promise they made to stay true to their union. The trials they faced in their marriage were not easily resolved, but their commitment to each other’s growth and well-being sustained them through the years. Theirs was not a perfect relationship, but one that was built on shared values, patience, and dedication.

Similarly, the great philosopher Aristotle believed that a successful marriage was rooted in virtue—that both partners must seek to cultivate qualities such as wisdom, kindness, and justice for the marriage to thrive. In this view, marriage is a union of souls, where each partner helps the other to become the best version of themselves. However, this process requires both time and effort, as it is not a bond that can be easily or hastily defined. Cathy Freeman’s words capture this very essence: she admits that she is not an expert, recognizing that marriage, like all meaningful things in life, is complex and often unknowable in its entirety.

The lessons of marriage often come from living through its ups and downs, and the experiences of others. Freeman, a world-class athlete, knows the discipline and sacrifice it takes to achieve greatness in her field. Yet, when it comes to marriage, she wisely admits that expertise is not easily attained. This is a humbling acknowledgment that, much like the discipline of an athlete or the wisdom of a philosopher, marriage requires ongoing learning and humility. There is no perfect formula, no set of rules that guarantee success. Instead, it is a matter of mutual understanding, support, and a willingness to adapt and grow together.

Consider the life of Elizabeth Barrett Browning and her union with Robert Browning, two celebrated poets whose relationship was as much about intellectual and emotional partnership as it was about love. They faced trials of illness, societal expectations, and personal challenges, yet their marriage flourished because of their deep respect for each other’s work, individuality, and shared vision. Like Cathy Freeman, neither of the Brownings claimed to have a perfect understanding of the complexities of life or marriage, but their relationship was one of continual growth, marked by a commitment to the well-being of the other.

In Freeman’s reflection, we find the timeless truth that marriage, like all meaningful relationships, is not about being an expert in a particular field or achieving perfection; it is about the willingness to remain open, to learn, and to nurture the connection between two individuals. Marriage is a dynamic journey, where each person plays an active role in the growth of the relationship. It is not about having all the answers, but about having the patience and humility to navigate the uncertainties that come with life’s changes, knowing that the path forward is shaped by mutual care and shared dedication.

The lesson is clear: marriage is not about expertise or perfection; it is about commitment, learning, and the willingness to grow together. No one can fully master the intricacies of human connection, for relationships are not about rigid structures or fixed roles, but about mutual respect, growth, and shared experience. In your own life, reflect on how you approach the relationships you cherish. Are you committed to learning, to adapting, and to nurturing your connections, whether in marriage or in friendship? Like Freeman, we can acknowledge that we do not need to be experts to build lasting, meaningful relationships, but we must always be humble, open, and willing to grow alongside those we love.